Honesty - Matthew 7: 1-6 and Matthew 5: 43-48

There is a skill to writing a book or a script for a movie. In general terms, the craft usually involves one of the main characters, if not more, being called into a time of challenge, that is neatly resolved by the time that we reach the end. Sometimes these challenges are forces from the outside, like an epic journey a hero needs to take. But I think perhaps the more relatable challenges are the ones that come from the inside. Those where the character, and us by extension need to wrestle with feelings or doubts. 

One of the plots you see coming up time and again in such stories of challenge are ones where folks are either lying or are lied to. It may be a lie of omission - something that is conveniently left out, but when discovered blows up. Or it could be a purposeful lie, sometimes with good intentions like protecting people’s feelings, but these often blow up as well. 

Isn’t this true in our own lives as well? When we aren’t honest, either about things great or small, it often comes back to bite us. 

Yet, we don’t talk about one particular type of deception very often - self-deception. Last week we talked about self-examination, a spiritual practice that helps us realize that we are in need of confession and God’s mercy and grace in our lives. But in order for self-examination to truly change us, we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to face our inner battles. 

Whenever we face an eternal threat in our lives, we often have two choices - fight or flight. We either hold our ground and face that threat or we flee in the opposite direction. Different times in our lives, call for different reactions. There is no one size fits all for all the situations we may face. 

But internal battles? Those are a bit harder. We often don’t fight them or flee from them, we ignore them, until they get so bad that we can no longer do so. And when our internal wounds and struggles start showing up on the outside, we don’t just ignore them, we start to try to convince other people that they don’t exist. Have you ever said (or heard someone else say) “I don’t have a problem with….(fill in the blank)” Our self-deception becomes down right dishonesty. 

Our brothers and sisters in twelve step programs understand this, perhaps better than the rest of us, with the steps that they work through, starting with admitting that we are powerless and that our lives have become un-manageable. 

That’s at the root of our dishonesty - is it not? We would rather ignore what we are facing when we cannot manage it, and we are so fearful of others realizing our flaws and shortcomings and sin, that we try to manage them and their perceptions of us, then face what is in front of us. 

Jesus cut through all of that with his teaching found in the seventh chapter of the Gospel of Matthew about judging others. Why do we judge others? Because we don’t want to own up to the sin in our own lives. Jesus is a bit tongue in cheek here, when he is talking about folks who are badgering their neighbors about removing the speck in their own eye, when they have a log coming out of their own. 

There are certain scriptures that I would love to see illustrated and this is one of them. A person swinging around with a log coming out of their eye, who can’t even reach out to wipe a speck out of someone else’s eye because of it - a ponient image. 

Jesus goes on to say that we need to first address the sin in our own lives before we go around complaining about our neighbors. Judging our neighbors. 

Instead, in Matthew, chapter 5, Jesus invites us into a different way of living. What could be called a more honest way of living. Jesus begins with the ancient teaching from scripture to love your neighbor and have your enemy, but then he flips it on its head. First, he doesn’t try to convince people that they don’t have enemies. In ancient times there were enemies around every corner it seemed like. Instead, he tells people to pray for not just their enemies but those who persecute you. 

Why in the world would Jesus say this? What is he trying to get at? I think if we are honest, praying for our enemies is really hard. And sometimes those prayers start out in such a way to ask God to validate what we are feeling or to excuse our behavior towards them. But. But if we persist in praying it becomes really hard to despise someone we are regularly praying for, even if it someone we consider our enemies. 

There is an old adage that we hate in other people what we hate most in ourselves. As we pray for another person, we also find healing for our own demons and what we need to confess. The adage may not be true in every situation, but it always invites us into a place to deeply reflect upon what we dislike about the other person and what they says about us. 

Our faith isn’t just about loving those who are like us and who we enjoy being around. Our faith manifests itself in loving even our enemies. Even those whom we struggle with. Our faith is a place where we both offer and receive forgiveness, which is the key to internal and external peace. But that forgiveness is really hard to get to without being honest with ourselves about where we start.

Honest about the fact that many of us do struggle with judging other people - trying to put them into neat categories instead of embracing fully who they are. We need to confess that judgment is God’s alone, not ours. We do not have the right to condemn others when that log is still coming out of our own eye. We can’t be scolding our enemies, when in our hearts we are enemies to others. 

There are so many sins that we are blind too, brothers and sisters, and maybe just maybe this Lenten season as we pray for our enemies, we can start to realize some of that sin in our own lives instead of running away from it or ignoring it or lying about it. So I’d like to create space for us to do just that this morning. Space to be honest with ourselves and honest with God. Let us take time for the next few minutes to be in silent pray, asking that God help us realize the log in our own eye, whatever it may be. Taking time to pray for those who we have been struggling with, deeply and sincerely praying for them. Who knows how it just may change even our hearts this Lenten season…..