About Me

My photo
My heart beats for love. I want to be different. I want to be who I am called to be. WORTHY and LOVED!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Vacation?

I've been a little disappointed lately. I guess maybe not so much disappointed as drained. It's been a little frustrating this week because while we are on vacation I feel as if I've done more hw then anything, and that being said, I haven't even really made a dent. The more I dwelt on that fact, the angrier I became. Gahhh...even thinking about it now I'm frustrated. This is not supposed to happen during vacation. Looking back, we have done things, but I feel more used then refreshed.

We've been helping with a divorce recovery program all week. At times I've just wanted to scream, because the kids aren't allowed to be kids. What if God wants to bless them by our presence and all we are doing is telling them to behave and sit down and listen to something that I don't even want to listen to. Does that make any sense? Anyway, that has been every morning which means we wake up early, drained and go to be way too late. Tuesday we were supposed to bring a snack, so I was up until 2am making cookies, Shane was up until 3am, and Jeremiah was up until 3:30. It was all sorts of ridiculous.

I got to go to a museum for the first time today. The national gallery to see the Guggenheim collection. I've forgotten how much I love modern art and Andy Warhol. It's like each piece is so abstract that it allows you to tell your own story in your mind. Amazing.

We've went to four shows. The Melbourne Symphony Orchestra which was so good. Shane like to point out that we were the only ones in the room under the age of 50. So few people were actually at the show that we moved seats, twice. Why have people our age lost, or rather never gained, appreciation for orchestra music. The orchestra has always been such a large part of my life since 5th grade, that its hard to image life without it.

We saw the TABS Graduate Ballet Exhibition where I decided that it is pointless for girls to dance ballet because guys are so much better.
The Government Inspector was a pretty phenomenal play.
And then we orchestrated a surprise for two of our friends living in the dorm that involved a memorable experience getting to the Phantom of the Opera.

And that's been break. Throw in a few good meals along the way. Sunday we leave for Sydney and the surrounding areas. I'm excited. Hopefully its a little more relaxing then my current situation.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The JAMMED

They were able to recover some of the stuff from my hard drive so as promised....


So we went to go watch a movie today, The Jammed, about sex trafficking in Melbourne. Wow. This entry is going to be interesting as I try to explain my thoughts that are laced with emotions ranging from sad to angry, blessed, frustrated, overwhelmed, ashamed, and guilty. There are so many theological questions rattling through my mind on top of that as well.

The essential premise of the movie is that three girls from foreign countries are told that by coming to Australia they can earn a new life for their family. Only when they get here they become prostitutes and are told that they owe $50,000 each to the man who brought them over and they have to pay him back by pleasuring men. As the story unfolds your heart aches, wrenching inside of your body. These women are raped, beaten, emotionally belittled, caged, and degraded. One of the woman was even sold into this life by her mother and father because they have a huge debt to pay off.

Ironically, in PoMo the night before we had talked about Foucout and “Power is Knowledge” and displays of power in society. As I watched the movie all I could think about was the power that we give the government, willingly and submissively as we don’t care about the struggles of our brothers and sisters. We don’t hold the government accountable or even really care about their actions feeling that they will handle the “terrible people” of this world (which as a side note I sort of went off on the Prof about placing claims on who is terrible and who isn’t). At the end of the movie, one of the girls is locked up in detention and isolation, overpowered by the “civil servants agents” trying to rape her off her last ounce of dignity, and caged up like a criminal. In fact, all they could talk about was how she was an illegal immigrant and needed to go away. Go away to what? What life does she even have left? What hope?

Who gets to deem what is considered to be political asylum? It seems that only if the public at large is aware of the plight of your country (which better be a civil war or genocide type of situation) the government considers your tale to be worth staying. Thus we are determining who is Worthy of our “generosity” of opening up our country. Since when do we actually own a county? What if we reclaimed the view that everything and everyone is God’s? Seriously. Take a minute to think about that. This is part of the reason why I am so strictly opposed to the building of the wall. Ownership by people and countries is just a mere illusion.

It also frustrates me that all too often we as the church pick and choose who we will help. We turn away the addicts and the prostitutes and say that they CHOOSE their lifestyle so they really shouldn’t need our help while making plenty of room in our pews and hearts for the arrogant and prideful. Maybe it’s because they have larger checkbooks. Opppss….did I really just say that?

And where is the church at in this situation? I mean I guess World Hope is trying to deal with the issue, but on a whole we are blissfully and deliberately ignorant. Does God forgive us when we choose to be ignorant because it isn’t worth our time to know about situations that don’t immediately impact us like I don’t know – human trafficking, ONE, Fair Trade, Homelessness, Child Labor Violations, No Sweat, and Foreign Policy decisions that effect other countries just to name a few. Or is God angrier at those who are informed and just don’t care – like the people who pretty much cheerily left the theater tonight to get coffee while Shane and I were so impacted that we literally could not move. Where is the compassion? Where is the LOVE? And at what point did we decide that church was all about teaching Jesus instead of acting like Jesus? Why did we stop looking towards the things that Jesus cared about – people, and meeting them in their holistic needs, not just spiritual. I was watching a movie with Shannon the other day about NZ women preacher pioneers and they ALL preached and had special ministries that touch their hearts. Where has this gone? We are so concerned with the ABCs and Business Model of church that we stopped BEING the church. Yes, Jesus saves but he also touches, interactions with, and humanizes (instead of missionalizing).

Shane made a great point after the film that it made everything else in our life and day seem so trivial. I think God delights in the trivial. He has given us the little things in our life for enjoyment. But that doesn’t absolve me of being aware of something bigger then myself. To reach out towards something bigger. To touch the lives of my brothers and sisters with the message that they are LOVED and WORTHY. I sometimes wonder why I am here, in Australia, with 23 professing Christians who are complaining about such stupid things. Where is our heart at? Is it selfishly pointed inward all of the time, or does it look out? Where are you looking?

“Girl America’s crying when she’s lying on her bed tonight. And I can see that’s screaming when she’s dreaming for freedom. Girl America’s dying while she’s trying just to stop this fight. Don’t stop trying. Girl America.” – Mat Kearney

Community

So lots of fun updates.

1.) My computer died as in the mother board is probably shot, which means I have to cope with using someone else’s computer for my school work – the bulk of which will hopefully be done by the end of break. But tomorrow I find out if all of my school work can be recovered or if I’m screwed. Anyway, Shane is being great and letting me share with him

2.) I broke down and got a cell phone today, not for overseas calling but more as a precaution. If you need more details let me know, but as for now we’ll leave it at that.

3.) I have an amazing blog update on a movie I just saw on Wed that I still can’t get out of my mind called The Jammed about prostitution in Melbourne. Wow. Unfortunatley its on my dead computer so look for that to be coming up sometime over break, which started about an hour and six minutes ago.

4.) Pictures are updated on both Facebook and Webshots so check them out.

So what I really want to write about now. Community. The buzz word that I have such an intense love-hate relationship with. We all try to define community by what we want it to be instead of acknowledging what it really is. And when other people can’t fit into our narrow definitions then we freak out. I think this sums up the story of my life since being at Houghton, but most definitely since being here.

In our engaging Australian culture class last week we had to break into small groups and talk about what community is and our distinct lack of it as HDU students. Yeah, world war three just about erupted in my group. But then TK started to talk about community amongst the Mennonites and how he doesn’t necessarily agree with sharing all things in common (ie a community pot).

Why is this such a horrible horrible thing? Seriously. The more I thought about it, this is where I am in life right now and have been for a while. Shane and I were talking about/ arguing for a while now if we have community amongst the two of us. I’m still not sure where I stand on that issue, but I can tell you that we most definitely have all things in common. There is no record of who spent what or who brewed the cup of tea last time or even how much stuff we have of the other persons. And yet, because that is so shunned in our individualistic and selfish culture, we are looked at and labeled in a manner that is difficult for me to handle sometimes. What if in being the church to one another we are better equipped to be the church for others? Why do gender lines make everything so complicated in people’s eyes and you can’t just be. Why can’t we just label as it is – genuine community? Because it scares people because it is so rare in the form that we are throwing out there by being nothing less then ourselves.

On Monday my group was discussing how we can’t really have community because we don’t have a common goal as HDU students. Ahhh… of course we have a common goal – as Christians we have the goal to love and respect for and care about one another. We are responsible for communicating LOVED and WORTHY. We are to be the CHURCH. Since when did our own selfish pride get in the way of being the church?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Fully Present

I’ve been struggling with the idea of being fully present. Really it’s something that I’ve been playing with in various stages since the first year I went to Russia. Where I’ve sort of arrived at recently is that being fully present does not always mean being happy about your present situation. God can use your discomfort and even anger, but you have to acknowledge those feelings and figure out what to do with them.
Friday was a pretty rushed day for Shane and I. We had a lot to do before having to catch a train by 5:30pm in order to be at another location in the city by 7pm for youth group. (As a side note – this is God totally reinforcing in me some of the lessons that he was teaching me this summer about planning time vs. leaving space in your schedule but that’s a story for another day). We went to the library, which we are trying to do only once every two weeks, but it’s the only time that we can upload pictures – which between the two of us takes at least two hours if not more because of the speed of the internet connection. Then we ended up at an organ recital at St. Paul’s Anglican Cathedral – where Shane is now attending church regularly. Three pieces were played – the second of which really touched me. Then we actually went to start our independent study work before having a “quick” dinner. And by quick I mean under an hour, which is really rushed for us. We ended up at this hole in the wall Italian restaurant that was amazing, only the portion sizes were so tiny. Even with the amazing banana pudding we had for dessert we both walked away hungry. The plan was to come back after youth group for cheesecake in Southgate, but that’s another part of the story. Up to this point in the day, being fully present meant enjoying Shane’s company, engaging each other in dialogue about what we were learning, etc. I have found that it is easier to live in the present moment if you are content or happy, but as we will see in the next part of the story that isn’t always the case.
We’ll skip right over youth group, because well, it isn’t appropriate to talk about on here beyond we have a lot of work ahead of us in the next two months and prayer would be fantastic. After youth group, Jeremiah and Lydia decided that they deserved cheesecake as well so we headed back to Flinders. During the course of our very long (and somewhat frightening) train ride, CoCo (one of our Australian friends from Kingsley) called and asked for us to meet her and her friends who were in town. Keep in mind that I loathe meeting new people, but we didn’t want CoCo to feel as if the open invitation she had made to all of us the night before was being disregarded, so we decided to go. I can at least say that Lydia and I thought this was going to be a short “hi, glad to meet you” under an hour and a half thing so we could still have cheesecake, which is not what happened. We meet CoCo and her friends and I was pretty much not a happy camper with the direction and topic of conversation which kept recycling, no matter how hard people tried to change it. Here is where I start to wonder if I failed at being fully present. Different people deal with discomfort and anger (which I feel are negative emotions in a sense) in different ways. I withdraw, big time. So that’s what I did. Lydia and I just sort of slid to the back of the group and let CoCo, Shane, and Jeremiah interact with the friends. No big deal. Only then it was easier for me to observe the entire picture of what was going on, including aching in my heart for the potential reactions of the people around us to our actions and topic of conversation. I kept trying to forget my anger and discomfort, wanting to be able to enjoy the company of CoCo and these new people. That is not being fully present. I have learned to trust my gut before and because I didn’t want to step up and tell people to stop what they were doing, I tried to change myself. I missed the opportunity that God was presenting me with to stand up for his children who were being mocked by the topic of conversation. My discomfort wasn’t wrong, and if I would have engaged it more instead of being ashamed then I could have said something radically different to these people, even if they never really changed because of it. Being fully present means working with both the positive and negative emotions and experiences, not dwelling on them, but engaging them enough to know what you should be doing or saying in a certain situation.
We’ll hop, skip, and jump over Saturday which was a picnic at hanging rock to Sunday. Sunday I felt was more of a day that reflected the original context of what Jesse said to me about being fully present in Russia. Sunday, Shane, Jeremiah, and I went to dinner with David – the only male Kingsley student in the dorms. So good. Seriously this boy can cook. David had invited about 15 people and we probably had a good 20 people in there at the height of the evening. We just played Taboo and ate pizza and enjoyed each others company. As people began to leave, our group became more intimate and we actually spent a good amount of time just singing worship songs – the impact of which I can’t really put into words. Being fully present isn’t entering into a situation with an agenda, but allowing God to work in and through the hearts of people there. It’s letting yourself be open and vulnerable and feelings. It’s this huge concept that we miss out on in life so often because we don’t want to try or because we misinterpret what it “should” look like. What would the world be like, if we just all took one day to live in the moment and to experience it fully, no matter how that manifests itself?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

What?!?

So for those of you who have not been to Australia before, there is a completely different grading scale in place over here. Essentially most people get Pass (p) and a few people get distinction (D). The highest grade you can get is the coveted HD – high distinction which means that what you have produced is publishable. Apparently very few people achieve, in fact people have repeatedly told us to not even try. Well, I achieved an HD on my first graded paper. And I was disappointed. Now I’m caught in this cycle of not really knowing how I should feel. On one hand I know that I should be excited and thanking God for being able to get this grade. On the other hand I know the paper I wrote wasn’t good. If I was back in the US I would be lucky to get a B on it from Case or Tyson and I feel that the word “dodgy” would be used to describe it. I didn’t put any time into it, 45 minutes to write, 15 minutes to edit. When I went to edit it I gave up because I didn’t understand what I wrote. Yet I got an HD. Does it really mean anything?
I guess in a way I feel that it’s a reflection of all of the work I’ve done while in Aus. I haven’t really been driven by academics at all, more then most people still, but not enough for myself. I’m handing in assignments that I would never dream of allowing myself to hand in at home, yet I get an HD. I feel like it means very little compared to Tyson telling me that the paper I poured a good 30 hours into for OT was good enough to publish. Does it matter what grade I get if the work doesn’t match it?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Vacation Update

Okay everyone here’s yet another update on the vacation plans. I think I mentioned last time that Jeremiah Tyler will be coming along with Shane and I. We’re pretty excited but please keep us in your prayers as Shane has kindly told Jeremiah that he will probably end up being left out or lost in one way or another.
We’ve booked our day trip to Phillip’s Island, which I am uber excited about. For those of you who don’t know, this is the place that I wanted to go to about 1.5 hours away that is a penguin natural habitat. I want to steal a penguin. While Shane is not a fan of the possible contraband, he did suggest that we go, so that’s book for the Saturday before we leave for Sydney.
I’ve also booked our hostel in Sydney. We decided to pay a little more so we didn’t end up in the shady one who advertised their websites with silhouettes of naked girls on top of each others and smokers. Haha. So that’s great. We’re also working on getting tickets to a show at the Sydney Opera Hosue.
The last big thing is also a prayer requests. There has been a bit of internal struggle as to whether we did the right thing by not going to NZ. As of Friday that struggle has vanished as we signed up to help with a week long divorce recovery program for elementary aged kids. It’s from 1:30 – 3:30 every day about an hour away from where we live. So a rough sketch of each day would be to get up and go to the city to explore or go to a museum, hop on a train to Broadmedows, change into our dress clothes and go back to the city to go to a show and dinner and explore some more. But the prayer request is that this program wasn’t going to be able to happen until Shane, Jeremiah, and I signed up to help. That was a HUGE conformation that we made the right decision as to how to spend our time, as well as a personal confirmation or two for each of us individually.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Simple Weekds

Oh the festivities of the weekends. I really LOVE free weekends. There is just so much freedom in how to spend your time and how to explore, versus going around as a large group of American tourists. I’m not sure if I blogged about this yet, but last Monday we had to talk about our biggest embarrassment on the trip and I said my biggest embarrassment was walking around as a large group of Americans who were loud and disrespectful and whom the Australians didn’t want to interact with. Oh that went over like a lead ballon, but it was truthful. So anyway, my weekends where I get to go exploring in small groups are much more appealing.

Friday, Shane and I left after devotionals for the city. We only had half a day to be there, so we ran some errands (including getting loose leaf tea now that we both have our tea strainers) and then settled down in the Fitzroy gardens. We had been there once before, so we settled into a part of the garden we hadn’t been to before, on a bench watching a family with a toddler play with him around the trunk of a big tree. All I could think of was pieget. How sad. Haha. After a while Shane and I gave up on trying to get through two books in so little time and just sat on the bench enjoying the sunshine before heading to Broadmeadows to help with Kid’s Club. Oh fun story there. Well actually several. First, let’s discuss how we were told by Coco, our Australian friend, that it would take us oh 30 minutes max to get to Broadmeadows from the CBD. Yeah, over an hour later we were there. At first, we didn’t get a seat on the train, but then Shane scoped out two seats and headed towards them. He then asked me if I wanted the seat on the inside, but I thought he was asking something else so I said no. Not a smart idea. The inevitable happened and I ended up next to a stranger, which really meant I was almost on top of Shane’s lap. Ahhhhh….stupid fear.

When we got to Broadmeadows we met up with four other HDU kids to go help with kid’s club for kids age prep (kindergarten) through third grade. It took us forever to find the church, which really isn’t a church at all, but an abandoned building that the women who runs the program bought – along with two buses so the programs could run. Seriously the women who runs this program is amazing – she also runs three – four other ministries out of this building and is a doctor two days a week even though she is beyond the age where one is allowed and expected to be retired. When we got into the building we were greeted by a woman who I recognized from church on Sunday. Her greeting was honest – as all Australians are – as she told us that kids could either be angels or Hellions, our job was to show them the love of Christ either way. The kids ended up being really well behaved, mostly because with the HDU help we had a 1:1 ratio. I sought out, as I usually do, the little girl who looks to be the most excluded and lonely and befriended her. Her name was Lisa. She grew up in Iraq but had to be evacuated along with her eight brothers and sisters a few years ago when her uncle was arrested. Wow. That tugs at your heart strings. By the end of the night she was playing with the other kids though which was amazing. The women could not stop thanking us for helping with the program and what we meant to both them (as encouragers) and the kids.

After Kid’s Club Shane and I departed ways with the rest of the HDU kids and went out for my birthday dinner. He was picking the restaurant for the evening and wanted to go to Liegon Street. We walked around for over an hour trying to find the street, but It was totally worth it when we finally arrived at the restaurant. Amazing. Excellent choice. Shane had pasta with the best shrimp I’ve ever had in it and I had gnocchi in a white butter and wine cream sauce with spinach and sun dried tomatoes. So good. For dessert Shane was going to head over to the gelato shop next door so he encouraged me to get ice cream too. Yeah, we never made it to the shop because they brought out four scoops of the best homemade ice cream ever. Mint (which normally I don’t like but this is one of my top two scoops of ice cream I’ve ever had), pineapple/ lemon, strawberry, and vanilla. Yummy!

Saturday I took Amy, another HDU girl, to the ballet, Destiny. It was a two part show the showed the evolution of ballet chorography over the years. The first half was from the 1930s and told the story of a man going to battle for love against his own emotions. Very well done. But the second part, the more modern piece from this year, was fantastic. It told the story of a man who was struggling with falling in love and how women manipulate the emotions of men. It was all done against a white backdrop that emphasized shadows, beautiful. I spent more time captivated by the beauty of the shadows dancing against the backdrop – simplicity at its finest, showing off lines and moves without the distraction of the person dancing. Wow. Then as the man went through all of these emotions, images mirroring his moods were projected on to the screen. For instance a thunderstorm with large rain drops to show his melancholy mood. So well done.

Sunday Shane and I along with three friends (Becky, Lydia, and Jeremiah) went to the Mozart Requiem. I don’t think I can put into words how touched I was. A small orchestra performed this amazing piece before the requiem began. It made me miss orchestra. A lot. I go through these phases where I miss band, but every time I hear a well defined bow grace a string or see a great vibrato I miss my viola. The requiem itself was performed by a community group, but the quality was better then any community group I’ve ever heard in the states. It was sung in what I believe is Latin, but a translation was provided in the program. One line really stood out to me, “Remember me, merciful Jesus, that I am the reason for thy journey, do not destroy me on that day.” Wow. It’s the basic Christian concept, but presented in a whole new way. We were all thoroughly amused.

After the show we took everyone down to South Gate and ended up eating at The World, a bar/ restaurant that Shane and I had desired to stop at a few weeks prior. We were not disappointed. On the table we started with three appetizers – brochette (which was the best I’ve ever had), Turkish bread, and Australian dumplings (crocodile, emus, and kangaroo). Then came main courses, Becky had some type of chicken, Lydia had steak, Jeremiah had kangaroo, I had gnocchi in a tomato and basil sauce with a fresh greens salad, and Shane had peppercorn steak. And dessert – wow – fruit crumble which is a little like apple cobbler only a lot better with pears and apples and some other fruit in it and mango cheese cake. And that was my weekend of pleasure.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Birthdays Come and Go

So I’m another year older, officially 21. In America it’s such a big deal because you can drink. I guess that’s sort of important, but seeing as how that’s not an issue here, I have actually appreciated the Australian views of 21 a lot more. 21 is the age of perfection – a multiple of the two holy numbers in Christianity 7 and 3. It is the time when you are given the key to your own life and must leave childhood behind and be accountable for you decisions. It is the door opening to true adulthood. Much more profound then ‘let’s go get hammered’ if you ask me, but we did have one guy in my Aus Lit class tonight allude to the fact that is what he will be doing upon turning 21. I think it’s a mark of maturity to see past the alcohol to something much deeper and often forgotten.
It was really odd to spend my birthday with little communication with my parents. I did get to talk to them twice this week, which is a big deal, but not on my actual birthday (although it is really still my birthday back home as I write this in a word document on my laptop to post tomorrow). That’s hard. My family has always been close, and this really is a holiday to be shared with them.
But HDU tried to make the best of it. Apparently, I found out that two of my friends were going to get up early to cook me breakfast in bed, which is so sweet, but I beat them up. Haha. So I actually get a redeemable magnum bar experience instead. Which is amazing. During my first class everyone sang to me. Oh and we made this amazing dinner (we being my flatmates, Shane, Jeremiah, and I) in part to get the guys to eat healthier and in part just to celebrate life. We made (from scratch) honey glazed salmon, butter and parsley rice, salad (consisting of two types of lettuce, grated cheese, tomato, cucumber, carrot, and apple), steamed green beans, and homemade mac and cheese. Then for dessert we had kiwi and strawberries. Amazing. And of course we partook of a little bit of our namesake. Haha. So funny story, Shane and I were discussing dinner today and then were talking with a group of people later and we have come to realize that we only really talk in partial sentences to one another that no one else get. I’m not really sure if that’s a bad thing or not, but it makes for a humorous time. Anyway, so we have this fantastic meal and ate so much, then about an hour into my night class tonight HDU threw me a surprise party with this massive cake, which is a big deal here, to have cake. It was such a nice gesture.
So here I sit, another year older. Ready to run hard after life. Ready to run hard after God, and so thankful that he created me and placed me in a world where I am LOVED across oceans and right in front of my face.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

I’m tired. Like run down tired. I’m trying to work through all of my reading today – with about 140 pages left for the day I can no longer see straight. Blah. This will get done. This will get done.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about worship this week. Specifically can worship to God be forced or when it is forced does it loose what it is? Does it in a way become untrue and driven by the wrong motivations?
For example, when I sing or prayer just because everyone else is doing it in church, my mind wanders all over the place. In fact last night during a closing prayer in class that was dragging on I found myself thinking about completely different things, no matter how hard I tried to focus on what was being said. Or when I sing - I’ve learned to discipline myself enough to not sing when I don’t feel like it, or to take time to stop and reflect on the words even if I’m mid-way singing a song. As long as I am reflecting on that in my heart I think it is more meaningful they shallowly following along. And other times I do sing, out of this pure and untouched place, where I feel like God and I just collide. A couple of nights ago I was having a rough time and ended up finding a piano and just playing and singing. Unfortunately that spot was in the library, but fortunately no one was in there, because I had no idea how loud I had gotten until the last cord resolved and I was so tired because of the amount of focus and energy I had poured into one thing.
This discovery of pure and passion-filled worship has been a long process for me, most of my college career. I just got so sick of following the ritual without a heart. Let me clearly state that this not an attack on liturgy, I love liturgy and when it is used properly it can take us to this whole new place of focus in worship. This is more a lament on a lack of heart behind what we do and just participating out of obligation. I think service has become an obligatory act instead of seen as a passion filled act of worship. While many would not agree, I think we need to learn to say no to service sometimes as well. God has given us each gifts and talents that he wants us to use in his body and to worship him as we serve others. Yet, we become so focused on just doing things that we don’t take time to sit down and spend time with God and find our gifts so we can cultivate them. Once again, I’m not advocating for being passive, I’m advocating for actively seeking out God’s will instead of running yourself in the ground in the name of Holiness.
We’re supposed to be doing a required service project while we are here. I think that’s funny and sad. If service is an act of worship then we are trying to require worship. Does that hinder the natural flow or my motivation? Should it?

Monday, September 3, 2007

Outside the line

I was gently reminded in various ways this weekend that my time in Australia needs to be a little less structured. In a way my life needs to be a little less structured. I crave unmovable boundaries and absolutes in a world that doesn’t function under these pretenses.
This weekend I have a grand delusion that I was going to write three papers and read close to two-hundred pages. It is now Monday and I have read two pages (close to two hundred right? Haha). But I don’t really feel overly guilty about that. Life isn’t meant to be lived the way that I have been living it. It’s humorous to me, because if I was at Houghton I would be able to get all of my work done and socialize with people with time to spare, but that is because there isn’t really a city sitting off to the corner, waiting to be explored. In a way, that is the appeal of Houghton, a place to learn that is so far removed that there aren’t any distractions other then those which are self-created.
Saturday I crashed. I didn’t get up until 11:30am. For those of you who know me best, you are probably gasping. I normally go to bed around midnight to two am and wake up by eight am. But my body jus wasn’t cooperating on Saturday. After going through the daily fight with the internet, I sat down to get all of my homework done. Yeah right. Jeremiah ended up coming over to borrow a train ticket and we ended up talking from daylight until evening about everything and anything until my flatmates came back. Next thing we know some of the other guys are looking for Jeremiah in my flat and we ended up playing speed scrabble and cooking pizzas on flatbread, a new standard for my flat. Then some of the girls from the next two flats over showed up to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Will and Grace. Really it ended up being a great day for relationship building.
Sunday, I attended the Hilton Street Church. I went looking for a place to go to church and found a family. Amazing, amazing place. Everyone ran up and hugged me, not shook my hand, hugged me. I have missed hugs. A lot. I talked to Hannah the other day when I called Jenn and told her that I wanted to ship her to Australia just so I could have hugs. Jude, the pastor, and I were chatting and she asked if I had my birthday while in Aus. When I said yes, it was this coming Thursday she got up during the service and said “Michelle is new here. She is going to have her birthday away from her family on Thursday so we’re going to be her family and sing to her now.” Who does that? I was almost brought to tears. I had the opportunity to meet so many people and plug into a church that is diverse in ages, races, and genders. I will be serving at this perish as well, which is such a blessing.
After the second service and we had hung out with a lot of the people from the church, Shane and I decided to embark on an adventure. On Sundays you can go anywhere in the city – all zones are free game, whereas usually we are restrained to zone one. So we headed out to the ambiguous zone two. And our first stop was boring. So we decided to head 2 ½ hours the opposite direction to this place called Upper Ferntree Gully, which totally reminds me of the movie Fern Gully, does anyone else remember that movie? Anyway, Upper Ferntree Gully is the Australian version of Clearfield, complete with highway and dollar store. By the time we got there I was starving, so we found a quiet little Italian restaurant and just chatted for a while. Ending up back at the school around midnight, which I just found out from one of the Australians that you aren’t really supposed to do. Oppps. Oh well, adventures are worth a little risk. A little more stepping outside of the rules and boundaries.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Adventures in Life

So really I should be reading, but I feel as if it’s time for another update on life. It’s not been the best week. There is a lot of explanation that is not going to be provided on here as to the reasoning. Anyway, not good. I actually broke down on Thursday and called a friend from home just to freely talk and make sense of my thoughts. There have been numerous times the last couple of weeks that I have felt cramped in my own mind. I have these struggles and thoughts that I’m just not allowed to put words to, because we are all expected to put on our happy faces in the name of love. Since when does love not stand for free expression? So I called this friend and we talked for quit a while, but I still was feeling very emotionally scattered, until yesterday. On Friday, Shane and I embarked on our independent study adventure. We’ve decided that we like the pattern on spending one week in the city and the next week away from the city center. We’ve honestly have been able to see so much that way in just two weeks.

We started out Friday around 10am, heading towards the State Library. I could probably spend everyday in the stacks upon stacks of books and free wireless internet. Side note: for those of you who have not been informed, we are all struggling with the lack of communication from Kingsley to the outside world. The college only allots you so many megabytes of internet usage per semester and there are only two-four internet ports that we can actually used during certain points in the day to access anything other then our Kingsley email. Its been frustrating. Add to that the consideration that even when you get on the internet, aim and msn messenger will not work and you feel sort of isolated and dependent upon email, which at times feels as slow as snail mail. Maybe we’re just spoiled. Or maybe we are nervous because we are so dependent on the internet to connect us to obligations and relationships back home. Either way, very unnerving at times. So we went to the State Library where there is more freedom to be online without being concerned if you are going to exceed your internet allotment.

While in the library I was still feeling very tense. In fact I actually ended up crying in the library a little after reading something a friend wrote on his online journal. Thankfully, no one was around me to notice. Then I started to chat with Jesse and our conversation resulted in me laughing so loud that Shane had to tell me to be quiet. For those of you know Shane relish in that sentence. Haha. But the laughter was all I really needed to switch everything around. My mood was noticeably lighter after I left the library and Shane and I ended up having an amazing 14 hour day.

Following our time in the library we headed out to St. Kilda. For those of you who have been keeping up with my travels, this is where we went for lunch after our first church service here. When we went the first time we really only walked down one street and missed some of the attractions that Shane and I are more interested in, like the Botanical Gardens, Beach, and Outdoor market. We never made it to the market on this trip, because it is only held on Sundays, but we did go to the beach. The last couple of days it has been amazing here, 70-80 degree F. I’ve been running around campus without shoes and in capris and t-shirts. Yesterday, it plummeted to about 40-50 degrees F. Freezing cold and the wind off of the water was ripping through my body, even with my sweatshirt on. So our time at the beach was cut short. I think my exact words were “You know its cold when all the animals run and hide” and “There isn’t going to be any unchapped skin left on my face after this.” We then meandered up to the Botanical Gardens for our independent study. While it wasn’t as impressive or breathtaking as the King’s Botanical Gardens that we were at last week, it was still amazing. This garden had two very distinct features: greenhouses set up to resemble conservatories and a large outdoor chess game (like the one I saw in Austria on our second tour through Europe).

Our study concluded four-ish hours later and we headed out to find a place to eat. I’ve found that I really only eat a light breakfast and a huge dinner here usually, but when I do that the dinner is definitely worth waiting for. Shane exercised his skills at being decisive and found us this restaurant that specialized in pastas, fish, and meat dishes. I ended up with Seafood Tortellini in White wine sauce. Wow. That’s all I have to say about that. It was more or less overstuffed cheese Tortellini amongst five to six different types of seafood. Fantastic. Shane had a traditional pasta with shrimp and some type of chili sauce. Only it wasn’t red. He really enjoyed his food as well. We were discussing this on our way to our next course – dessert – a lot of people here are concerned at eating as cheap as they can and eating American foods that they are familiar with. I probably have the most dietary issues out of everyone here, but that just means being careful, not necessarily sticking with the familiar. I did not travel half way around the world to have McDonalds or KFC. Sorry. The result is us feeling like no one else enjoys fine dining experiences. This leaves us very excited for break, but I’ll get to that in a minute. I think my parents have taught me better then most people, to enjoy quality food not cheap food, especially when you travel. I actually got giddy yesterday when we were looking at restaurants to go to during break and found a place that had multiple forks and spoons at each place setting. I miss fine dining at tables and look forward to our IS day every week so I know that I won’t have to eat take-away food from a bag that everyone else is content with.

For our dessert we went to a cake shop, which St. Kilda is actually famous for. I had a Tropical Cake which is essentially a harder croissant with a vanilla custard cream and real fruit on top. I’ve missed fruit too. My flat seems to only like to buy apples which I’m sick of by now. I want strawberries, raspberries, cherries, peaches, kiwis, all of which were on this cake, hence its attraction. The dessert reminded me a lot fruit pizza, only it was considerably better. Shane had some type of chocolate layer upon chocolate layer thing. He was elated. All with tea, yummy.

Funny story from the day - Shane is very good about giving money to those who are struggling in the city. I give a lot of my change away, but he will take money out of his wallet. Both cause some of the people we are traveling with to get a little nervous. Anyway, as we were trying to find a restaurant for dinner, a man came up to Shane and asked if he could sell him some cigarettes for money for a train ride home. Neither of us smoke, so Shane said that he would just give him money and handed him a 5. An hour and a half later when we came out of the restaurants and were going into the cake shop, the same guy came up to Shane with the same story. What should be stated at this point is that bus tickets are uber cheap. Less then 3 dollars so 5 would have been plenty. So he came up to Shane with the same story and Shane started to talk to him and about half way through his thought he stopped and asked our cigarette friend if he remembered him, he didn’t. Shane pretty much had just paid for his habit. But that’s the cost you have to pay at some points, as you reach out to those who are in need.

When we arrived back in the city center from St. Kilda, we decided to attempt to work out our vacation plans and book some things. For those of you who aren’t aware, our original plan was to fly to the north island of New Zealand and stay with a missionary from Shane’s church and work for NZ youth for Christ. We were both ecstatic. Especially when friends of ours who were on the HDU program before had told us that we could spend an entire vacation there for less then 1000 US dollars. Yeah, that is no longer the case. The airfare alone to get to NZ and home was 925 US dollars. So we had to kiss our plan to go to NZ goodbye. After a little bit of discussion and pouring over theater ticket books we decided to spend a little over a week in both Melbourne and Sydney. We booked almost all of our pre-tickets yesterday. We are going to:
The Melbourne Symphony Orchestra – Concerto for Orchestra
The Australian Ballet School – Graduation Exhibition
An Abby Choir Concert
And The Government Inspector (Play) – where we are actually getting to go to the preview show! How cool is that!
The poor woman who took our ticket order was so confused and frazzled as we just kept going through what we wanted tickets for. When you travel overseas as a student you get an ISIC cards which is like gold. You get the cheapest tickets for just about everything. So we ended up with some of the most amazing seats, at the cheapest prices. The only thing we didn’t get tickets for was the play “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf?” which we both really wanted to see. All of the shows are sold out minus these crappy seats that are never sold, which each have an enormous price tag attached to them. When the lady at the ticket counter tells you it isn’t worth it, you listen.
We also booked our train ticket to Sydney for about 100 American dollars. You could fly for a little more, but we are both so sick of traveling in airplanes; its time for a new experience.
We are also planning on booking one more thing for the week we are in Melbourne next week – a day trip to Philips Island, where penguins and fur seals live. I was so excited when Shane walked into Lit class on Thursday with the brochure for me. (( Caite – this means watch the mail haha )) So next week we’ll be booking that and some of our accommodations and tickets for Sydney. The rest of the museums, historical, and cultural sites you don’t have to pre-book.
Everyone else has been talking about having to skimp out on a lot with vacation and after vacation budget money because of the amount they are spending on travel, but we are happy with how much we are doing with spending so little money.

Another funny story – Shane has this tendency to get into a lot of things when he’s exploring that he just shouldn’t. As we were looking for the box office he tried to open up this door and a security guy came rushing towards him to stop him. As Shane was apologizing we found out that the door lead directly onto the stage of the national ballet that was showing. But as Shane was apologizing, the security guy noticed our “accents” and asked where we were from. When we explained our various locations in the US he got the biggest grin on his face and ended up taking us on a tour of part of the theater with little facts. All mistakes are redeemable.

After that adventure of booking everything, we went down to this cute part of the city that had amazing post-modern art on display as well as architecture. We were going to go and find a place to sit down for a while, but actually ended up walking through this massive casino complex. While we obviously didn’t gamble, it was really interesting to see the whole culture of the complex.

14 hours later at midnight we ended up back at Kinglsey college, after walking somewhere between 8-9 miles in a day (shane is in hiking walking and jogging so he has to keep track).