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My heart beats for love. I want to be different. I want to be who I am called to be. WORTHY and LOVED!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Service

Two of the things I love are food and travel. When you eat out, buy food to prepare at home, or travel you meet people in what we call the "service industry" - ie. maids, people working the front desks at hotels, chefs in kitchens, clerks at stores, waiters and waitresses, etc. The more I travel and eat, the more I realize how poorly people in these occupations are treated. Generally I try to make up for the ill attitude of others by compliments, larger tips, and smiles. 

Today, I was eating breakfast at a Comfort Inn in the back room where the maids eat (long story) and had the opportunity to watch several people come and badger this one poor woman for not working quickly enough for their liking saying that "it was her job". It was very clear that something was wrong and the hotel was understaffed - and it turned out that two people hadn't shown up for work, leaving one person to do a three person job.

This lead me to have two very different lines of thought. The first is obvious, people need to start showing grace to one another. We cannot be defined by others expectations for our occupations. We need to acknowledge that things happen that are beyond control and we need to be patient and not stress others out more. Its a good opportunity to practice out the golden rule, because I know that since I am human that there are going to be times when I need grace shown to me time and time again throughout my life, therefore, I really need to learn to show it to others.

The other thought was along the line of vocation versus lifestyle. Do we have expectations for people in vocational roles? Yes. Some of them biased and others harsh while some still are accurate. When someone fails to live up to our expectations we tend to get upset. But why don't people get upset when we don't live up to our lifestyle? By that I mean - shouldn't there be some expectations based on the Holy Scriptures of Christians and shouldn't people get upset when we fail to live up to them time and time again - not because of a mistake, but because we blatantly choose not to? Shouldn't people be asking where the Christians are when disaster strikes or asking why we aren't doing more for the homeless on the streets? Why do we hold someone more accountable to our ideas of their vocational responsibilities instead of the command to be like Christ?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Radio

As I was driving home from camp last evening, I was in the boy's car, which is cd player-less, so I listened to the radio to keep awake. Wow. I was shocked. It seemed like every song was about shallowly loving someone, although I'm sure many would see physical attraction as it is portrayed in these songs as a sign of lasting commitment and depth. And most of the ads were about making ourselves better. Fix your boobs. Find your perfect mate. This makeup can take away years. Or my personal favorite, become a millionaire by doing nothing, because you deserve it. There was not one ad that said anything about thinking about anyone other then yourself, and if we are really lucky, our immediate family. When will we start to see that our worth doesn't lie in the worldly, but in the Godly?

Puppets



So I realize that this isn't the greatest picture due to the lighting and angle at which it was taken but it's a picture of a puppet Jesus which was featured at a puppet show we had brought in for our elementary campers this past week at Wesley Forrest.  And this tiny puppet led me to have a variety of thoughts which I wanted to share. 

First off, I love the fact that Jesus' hands are stretched outwards. I've seen Christ portrayed this way so many times before and yet was never struck by the duality of the posture until this week. Christ is both giving and receiving through his out stretched arms and open palms. He is giving us an invitation to come with him to a place of wholeness. To go on this crazy journey that embodies what true relationship means and what it can accomplish. But he is also receiving. Christ is receiving our prayers and praise. He is taking our burdens upon himself when we need that the most, while at the same time receiving our praises that we lavish upon him in thought, word, and action. How amazing!

But that leads me to my problem with this puppet. You can't really see from this picture, but Jesus is so unhappy. He is straight faced, while all of the other puppets showed emotion. How sad. And how inaccurate. Even those who have went through life with struggle after struggle still have smiled at least once, yet here is Jesus looking so stern. It sort of cancels out the whole idea that he is inviting us to something beautiful. What a tragic thing to be teaching kids - and adults. In addition, if this same portrayal of Christ is receiving our praise and prayers with open hands, his demeanor would give the idea that he could care less or that we are nothing more than a burden to him. When are we going to start teaching that Jesus laughed, as well as cried. He smiled, as well as was stern. He was not the monotone figurine we have made him into. 

My other issue with the puppet show didn't come until the very end, when the puppeteers came out to dance to a song. While I don't remember the exact title of the song, the lyrics' basic gist was this: Jesus arose and conquered the grave, thus making death and Satan break their strongholds on our life. I agree with that. But I did not agree with the line "And we (or he - it was hard to hear) no longer suffer" Woah, back up. Depending on the hearing of this line it either means that he (ie Jesus) no longer suffers or that we (ie his followers) no longer suffer. Both are theologically inaccurate and a poor message to be sending. Yes, when we are in Heaven on that glorious day, "every tear will be wiped away" according to scripture. But I believe that Christ still suffers today, when he grieves over his wayward children. The scripture tells us that God seeks us as a Shepard seeks a lost sheep. While I've never lost an animal, I have lost things of much lesser value which have caused me to fret. How much more does God, our Father, and Christ, our Savior, and the Holy Spirit, our comforter, suffer and struggle to bring us back when we are lost. If we present the idea that He no longer suffers, its similar to saying, he does not care about what you do or if you come Home. 
And to say that we no longer suffer is just laughable. I went to a Christian college where there was much suffering and pain. I myself have had deep struggles and all (yes, all) of my friends have suffered. Scripture does not present the idea that we currently no longer suffer. It says that we have hope. That we have someone to share the burden with us. Completely different then the idea that we don't suffer. God redeems, yes, but he does not nullify all experiences of suffering and pain. 

Friday, July 18, 2008

Observing Vs. Participating

I'm currently reading Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son. One line the particularly caught my attention reads "He [the elder son from the arable of the prodigal son] is, without any doubt the main observer of the younger son's homecoming."

I've never really associated the word "observer" with the resentment of the elder son towards both the younger son and his father's acceptance and embrace of his brother. But how much does that word really characterize a basic flaw in our relationships that emerges when we observer instead of participate i the lives of others.

When we watch others from a distance instead of engaging with them. When we find out about their lives from facebook or second hand chit-chat instead of talking to them. It is in these moments when we refuse to participate in the full embrace of relationships, we fall into the trap of the elder son. For observing others can lead to nothing but criticizing. And if we are not participating in each others lives, such critiquing even if meant to be a heart-felt critique comes across as an attack.

In applying this to my own life, I can see how this has presented in my life. I remember a friend telling me that he was always watching out for me and asking about me to others during a rough patch that we were experiencing. But to me, his words brought little solace. Because he was no longer participating in my life, he was just watching it from a distance and telling me how I was living it wrong.

I've also always struggled with accepting criticism, but over the past few months, I see that comments with a critical bent from those who are present in my life mean more and are taken more kindly then those from people making comments based off of what they think they see from a distance.

So may we be challenged, to not be like the elder son, observing our brothers (and sisters) from afar and judging them critically. May we instead be like the Father, engaged in the lives of those around us, inviting everyone home.

Life

While working at the women's shelter in town I'm required by DComm to keep a journal to reflect on my experience. Usually I write insightful, long enteries, but last week my entry simply read:
"It’s in the mundane and the daily living together that we have the most opportunity to touch someone’s life."

I've been finding that as I grow older I appreciate the more consistent aspects of doing life together instead of the grander moments. I find blissful peace in the moments of making a meal together, taking a walk, or doing the dishes instead of the moments that are planned in advance. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy those events but I no longer desire them the way I used to.

Back in high school all of my foundest memories were these large events, but in college, especially after going to Australia, I just want a chance to be with people.

As I was dwelling on living in the everyday versus living for the grand moments, I began to see why some couples struggle once they are married. They expect every day to be like going on an exciting date and discount the beauty in living life together, with all of the repetiveness, quarells, and opportunities for expressing love that it entails.

And that is why there is more opportunity to touch someone's life in the every day. Because the everyday happens, well, every day. How sad would it be if we gagued someone's love for us off of grand expressions alone? How sad would it be if waited for the big moments in life to express our love to people we care about? It would leave us with a very shallow and disfigured version of love. But love can equally be expressed by just making a cup of tea for someone or listening to their life story. For it is here, in these moments, that we truly get to know someone. What a blessing!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Cravings

Sometimes the things that we struggle with the most are also the things we crave the most.

I think this a good sign that these things will lead to our destruction.

For me, it is becoming evident that food is going to be my downfall. I think out of the past five days, I've been sick three from food (specifically those containing cheese even after taking Lactaid). Ugh. But I keep eating it anyway. Why? Because I have this strong addiction to food.

But as I struggle with food and illness and pretty much being limited to three food groups of the six on the pyramid, it's made me think a lot about addictions that others struggle with. All too often we criticize those who struggle, mostly because we refuse to acknowlege that their addcitions reflect our own, which we all have but are trying to avoid. But cutting others down does not build us up. When will we start to see in ourselves all the things that are blocking us from others and from God?

Relationships

Recently I finished reading The Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman. The chapter that impacted me the most was entitled "Should Love Lead to Marriage?". Chapman, in this selection, described the seven main reasons (and I would add goals) to a marriage are: companionship, sex, love, to provide a home for children, social acceptance, economic advantage, and security. As I continued to read I was struck by the idea that some of these very much apply to all relationships of any depth, not just marriage.

Especially social unity.

Social unity in our culture is such a deceptive thing. Some where along the way we became creatures who aim to please others. In other words we are willing to change ourselves in order to appease others. (See my blog entry on 27 Dresses). We've taken social unity which as Chapman puts it "Do you hold enough in common that you can grow together?" Here, I feel he has hit the nail on the head.

Growth.

But we have substituted growth for commonality that may or may not be authentic.

I've been thinking a bit about the reasons why some of the relationships I treaured the most in high school no longer are important to me. It's because we have drifted apart interest wise and our interests were the only thing holding us together.
The more I thought about changing interests and how they can shatter a "good" friendship, I realize that these relationships might not have been friendships at all. If we only function because we have things in common, that seems more like an aquitanceship to me. Especially when we desire to lock people into what we precieve their interests to be so that we can continue to have stability in the relationship.

Stability and growth don't really conicide.

What is the foundation of our friendships? Is it that we like the same things - same type of movies, music, activities. Same type of food? I think we need to start asking ourselves, if I found out that all of my friends likes weren't real, but existed only to please me, what would be left in our relationship?

Isn't this why so many marriages fail today? We marry for commonality instead of growth? And someday, like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, our mate wakes up and realizes that they don't have any gunuine likes of their own, because they were just trying to create a common basis with you?

I think about my seven closest friends now, and I see how diverse we all are in our interests. And I love that. Because it shows me that we aren't just friends for what we like or dislike. We have this beautiful depth to our relationship that constitutes true friendship. We can talk about more then what we like or what we are struggling with. We can talk about faith and beauty and truth. And most importantly, we are growing together. We embrace each other as ever evolving and our love isn't limited to the memories of who we were, which all too often make people live in the past.

Are you being allowed to grow in your friendships?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Life of Prayer - Matthew 6: 5-13

At the center of our life of devotion to God is prayer. It’s our chief way of communicating with the Holy One. The key word being communication. Sadly, most of our prayer lives don’t look anything like a healthy living relationship. Take a moment to think about your prayer life in terms of how you talk with your friends. Does it mortify you? Because it most certainly mortified me. When I talk with my friends there is a lot of talking back and forth. I feel like I need to apologize with God for my prayer life, because up until recently it didn’t look anything like a healthy conversation. It was me. Talking. A lot. I was like the energizer bunny, talking really fast, but not listening. Prayer is defined as a relationship with God, and folks, if I had to self-score any relationship that was as one-sided as my relationship with God, I would give it a ‘F’.
For some reason so many of us refuse to listen to God. We either quickly run through our list of requests just to throw them out there and make sure God knows what they are because, well, we’re just too busy for anything else. Or we take prayer and reduce it to a model, such as the ACTS method – making sure to have adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication (or requests) in our daily prayers. Once again pause and think about that in comparassion with your other relationships throughout the day. Are your friends and family feeling cared about if you don’t listen to them? Or don’t follow the line of the present conversation because you have a set method you want to follow or are afraid that what you deem needs to be said will be forgotten.
But even not listening, as detrimental as this is, isn’t as overwhelming among Christians today as not believing God will answer prayers. Beth Moore, a noted author, describes what she heard God saying about her prayer life one day when she wrote, “I sensed God saying, ‘My child, you believe me for so little. Who are you trying to keep from looking foolish, Me or you?;” Brothers and sisters are we believing God for so little even today? Are we putting the breaks down on our prayer life because we are afraid to ask God for big things? Do we only pray for those things that we will expect him to answer, or don’t care if he doesn’t answer. Or worse when we pray for something big do we expect God not to answer at all? And friends, that is a tragedy is the words of John Wesley are true when he said, “It seems that God is limited by our prayer life, that he can do nothing for humanity unless someone asks him.”
Because if we look back at the scripture passage for today, Jesus was teaching his disciple to pray a very big prayer. “Your kingdom come, Your will be done.” Is not exactly as simple a phrase as it comes off our lips being, more times then not. This is Christ telling God, the Most High King, that his Kingdom was the ultimate will of the disciplines. Not their own plans or agendas. But God’s and God’s alone. And let’s face it, if we don’t know the promises of scripture and can’t identify how God has worked for good for us in the past, saying “Your will be done.” Could be very frightening.
I want to just take some time and break down the Lord’s prayer, line by line. Revealing the relevance and power that it holds. The credit that we all so often don’t give it once the words are memorized.
“Our Father, who are it Heaven, Hallowed be your name.” Even in teaching his disciples how to pray Jesus is being controversial as well as teaching a radical lesson. Jewish culture lesson, God’s name was considered to be so holy that it wasn’t even to be spoken out loud, yet here Jesus is taking the name that wasn’t to be spoken and adding this intimate twist to it, by addressing the Most High God as Father. He made God approachable.
When I think of this statement I immediately think back to the book of Exodus. In Exodus 3:5 God told Moses to take off his sandals because he is standing on Holy Ground. As Moses goes on in verse 13 to ask what God’s name is, God responeds, “I am who I am. That is what you are to tell the Israelites, I AM has sent me.” Here God’s holiness was precieved as a boundary between himself and the Israelites. He was so Holy that he didn’t even have a recognizable name. Yet, in the Lord’s prayer, we find that we can have a deep, close relationship with God, and it doesn’t diminish his holiness as the Israelites had feared for so many years.
“Your Kingdom Come, Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.” When you read the Gospels you see that there is a tension in Jesus’ talk about the Kingdom of Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven is present and not yet. All too often we get caught up in the future, and just passively wait for Christ’s return and for him to fix everything. But if are agents of God’s will, we recognize that we have a place in his present kingdom. In the book of Jeremiah, God speaks through the prophet saying “I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness, in the earth for the things I delight in.” If this is the way God loves and if this is what brings him honor, then we should act as he does, pursing justice, righteousness, and mercy fervently. The Church, as the bride of Christ, exists to bring honor to God both now and in the future.
This verse also gives me pause when Christ prays that “Your will be done.” I think very few people pray this and mean it. We pray this, because well we think we should, but really our heart isn’t behind it and we still get upset when things don’t turn out our way. But here’s the thing. God will never do anything that isn’t in our best interest. We need to trust in this. When we let our own will supercede God’s will we are settling for second best. And we shouldn’t want to settle.
Personally in my life, I have been challenged by my prayer partner over the past year to commit my prayer time to God and set aside any agenda I have for prayer. Asking the Spirit to lead me to pray what is on His heart. And some really crazy things have happened quite frequently. I’ll be led to pray for people who I have become disconnected from. I have been led to repent of attitudes that were so hidden in my heart that I would never be able to see them on my own. And I’ve been led to pray for circumstances in the lives of those close to me that I didn’t even know were happening. God’s will has superceded my will and I’m being led by him. It is a beautiful time when my heart meshes with the heart of God.
“Give us this day our daily bread.” God has created us with basic needs. We need food, water, and oxygen. And he sustains us by giving us these things. And this little line should take us back, once again to Exodus, causing us to remember God’s pervision as the Israelites wondered in the wilderness for 40 years. He reigned down Mana, a bread like substance, from Heaven and the Isralites were to collect what they communally needed to sustain them for one day. We’ve become such a glutoness, self-centered society. We hoard food and don’t think about the needs of our neighbors. But notice that the word “our” is used in this phrase instead of “my”, therefore, we should be praying for the provision and sustaining of our neighbors as a way to “love your neighbor as yourself.”
“And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” The power behind this statement is two fold. First it serves as a reminder that we must daily ask God to help us examine our hearts and point out our sins. And we must trust in his forgiveness. For some reasons we tend to cling to guilt of stains that Christ’s blood has long washed away. This examination of our heart also lets us fully give our sins over to Christ and be absolved of them.
The second, and seemingly harder part, of this phrase is probably best explained by Luke in Chapter 6 of his gospel when he says, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged, do not condemn, and you will not be condemened. Fortive and you will be forgiven, give, and it will be given to you.” And he goes on to ask “Can a blind person guide a blind person? Will they both not fall into the pit? A disciple is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully qualified will be like the teacher. Why do you see the speck in your neighor’s eye but do not notice the plank in your own.” Human nature after the fall is to write off our sins, by pointing out the bigger sins of others. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpant. God is reminding us that we are not to judge others for their wrongs, but to forgive them time and time again. This takes the humility of being able to identitfy that we are fallen and screw up just like the person who has hurt us. We are all in need of forgiveness, because none of us is more holy then another.
“And lead us not to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one.” Life is not easy. No where, and I really mean no where in the Bible does it say that the life of the Christian will be smooth and free of temptations and struggles. But it does promise that God will protect us. I think this is what it boils down to when Christ tells us that we need to have childlike faith. When I am a child, my life is in the hands of my parents and I trust them fully. I trust them not to lead me across the street when traffic is flowing and there is a “Don’t Walk Sign”. And I trust them to recuse me if I do become in danger. But when I become an adult I become independent, thinking that I can do everything on my own, even if this is not the case. I don’t ask for help and in my stubbornness I try to defeat the things that far too grand for me. I trust no one but myself. Childlike faith calls us to dependance, and we must certinaly depend on God to help us avoid the traps of Satan.
So may we have our eyes opened to a new way of praying. May we talk less and listen more. May we give our relationship with God the attention and honor it deserves. And may we pray big prayers, showing our trust and dependance on God. For our teacher in Christ showed us that God can handle big prayers when he gave us the example of the Lord’s prayer. May we never see the familiar the same again.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Suffering - Job 23 and Hebrews 12: 5-12

What I am going to discuss tonight isn’t an easy topic. In fact, it is bound to bring up memories of heartache and failures and trials. But I also know that it is time for us, as the Church, to have an open honest discussion about what it means to suffer.
The Book of Job, in the Old Testament, tells what seems to be the ultimate story of suffering. Some background before we look closer at chapter 23. Job was a devout servant of God’s. One day Satan decided that he wanted to prove to God that Job was only devout because of how blessed he was. In Satan’s words “Job fears God for nothing…Stretch out your hand now and touch all that he has and he will curse you to your face.” (1: 9b, 11) So God permitted Satan to test Job’s faith and prove that he was righteous, but commanded him not to kill Job. Fast forward. Satan continually attacks Job. He gets sores all over his body. All of his sons and daughters die. His livestock all perish. His life quickly went from comfortable to miserable. And everyone around Job, including his wife and friends insist that Job has made God’s wrath upon him and that he needs to repent of his sins in order to restore God’s good favor. His wife even told him that his life wasn’t worth living and that he was better off to curse God and die. However, Job knew in his heart that he hadn’t sinned against God..
Chapter 23, where we find ourselves this evening, is Job’s lament to God. A lament could be described as just simply crying out to God in anguish and telling him how things in life suck at the moment. All too often we feel that we need to put on a happy face for God, a mask. But he knows what’s in our heart, so we might as well tell him. Speak to God what you are thinking. While some are going to find this crass, there is a professor who once said that if you can’t think of any other word to describe what you are feeling, then curse in your prayers to God, because at least then you are being honest. The Psalms are filled with these prayers of distress, crying out in honesty to God. And here we have Job’s anguish laid out as he cries to God. He is essentially saying to God, hey I’ve done nothing to deserve this and if I knew where you where I would come and tell you that to your face. But this is not, hear me out, not Job finding pride in himself. Verse 6 he says “Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; but he would give heed to me. There an upright person could reason with him, and I should be acquitted for ever by my judge.”
Even in Job’s absolute destitute state he still believes that God can rescue him. He might be crying out “Why God!?!” but he hasn’t lost faith that God can still redeem this situation. How many times have we been there? Totally able to identify with Job. When we’ve lost a job and a new one hasn’t come. When we get a diagnosis that alters our life. When we bury a spouse…or a child. We all have been where Job has been in one for or another, we have all been amidst suffering. When we cannot see two feet in front of us in the pitch blackness of life.
And really, Job hits the nail on the head, when in verse 8 he says, “If I go forward, he is not there; or backwards, I cannot perceive him.” We run into this problem along the path of life, where we cannot perceive him, thus we logically conclude that God has abandoned us. We cite that God obviously even abandoned Christ on the cross on Good Friday, when Jesus cries “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me” before taking his last breathe. But see we have made a fatal error. We have judged God’s presence by our ability to sense him, when suffering all so often shuts down all of our senses as we retreat inside of ourselves. Our eyesight is marred, because for the most part we can only see what we want to see, and since God isn’t acting in the way we wanted him to act, we conclude he isn’t there. When really he’s been there all along. Waiting for us to come to him.
Here’s the thing, God does not cause tragedies in our life to happen and he does not cause suffering. This is not in his nature. BUT he can redeem all of our suffering. He can take the messy, horrible moments in our lives and turn them into something beautiful, if we let him. But we have to choose to let him. If we continue to retreat into the darkness in an attempt to hid from the pain, we won’t find healing. Healing doesn’t come from the darkness, but only from the light. William P. Young’s book, The Shack, is a story all about human suffering during tragedies, and how God often gets blamed for tragedies instead of clung to for healing and wholeness and comfort. In the story, God speaks to the main character Mack, whose daughter was kidnapped, raped, and ultimately killed, about suffering. He says, “Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies does not mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don’t ever assume that my using something means that I caused it or need it to accomplish my purpose. That will only lead to false notions about me. Grace doesn’t depend of suffering to exist, but where you find suffering you will find grace in many colors and facets.”
We are all going to have moments of grief in our lives. Moments when we don’t know how we are even going to get through the day because of the overwhelming sadness. Christ had those moments too. Look at the gospel story of Jesus in the Garden right before he was betrayed and abandoned by his disciples. He is on his needs before God praying “Dad, you could make what’s going to happen disappear. If it’s possible, can you make it so I don’t have to suffer and die But if this is the only way, I’ll do it.” I have a friend Jesse, who is such a source of wisdom to me. One conversation I’ve had with him, that I’ll never forget, is about these “Garden moments” as he calls them, in our lives. Those time that we are standing up at the sky yelling “Where are you GOD?” or crying “Why?” But what we don’t realize is that God is right there in the Garden with us, and our inability to perceive that is what makes everything so much more difficult. And we have a choice, to stay in the Garden, know that as we cry out to God that he will work everything out for our ultimate good because he loves us so much, or we can walk away from God because we assume that he is to blame. We forget who God is. And we forget that after the garden and the cross came the resurrection.
And there are going to be times in our lives when we ultimately blame for our own suffering. It’s a hard fact to swallow. Those times when we are so deep in sin that God has to attempt to discipline us, like a good parent, to get us back in line. He doesn’t want to punish us, but out of love he has to. But he is still not the cause of our suffering, our sin is! When I was little, around 3, I had a huge problem with biting people. And we’re not talking like playfully nibble on you, we are talking sinking baby teeth into flesh and leaving marks and making people bleed. I was out of control. So one day my dad bit me back. Not hard enough to make me bleed and not even half as nasty as I was to other people, but a bite none the less. And that, was the end of my biting. Period. Did my dad want to punish me or bring suffering to me? No. But if he didn’t do something then I was going to be out of control. And that is what the Hebrews passage is talking about:
“My child do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when you are punished by him. For the Lord disciplines those he loves and chastises every child whom he accepts. Endure trials for the sake of discipline….Discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit or righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Job ultimately says the same thing “When he tested me, I shall come out like Gold.” Brother and sisters God is redeeming us. As difficult as it is, take joy in that! When refiners work with Gold and Silver, they hold a piece of the precious metals over the fire and let it heat up in the middle of the fire, where the flames are the hottest. Only then can all of the impurities be burned away. And the smith has to sit in front of the fire during the entire process. And the most beautiful part of the process, is the end when the smith knows that the metal is fully refined when he can see his image in it. Sometimes we need to suffer to take away the impurities in our hearts, those things that keep us from God, so that his image can be seen in us! But like the smith, he never leaves us during the entire process.
Sometimes suffering just happens. And other times we cause it. But as I’ve been dwelling on suffering, I’m taken back to the image of the pearl. A stone formed by pain and suffering. God redeems all of our suffering because we are precious to him. And through all of our suffering we are being formed more in his image.
I’d like to close by reading a poem I wrote about suffering entitled Pearl:
I am a Pearl. Tested and tried.
Formed through suffering, pain, and joy.
Crafted by God's hand.
For His Delight.

I am a Pearl.
I have gone through some things that no one has ever went through.
And things that everyone has went through.
Broken hearts, scrapped knees, emotional wounds.
But I am for His Delight.

I am a Pearl.
I hold a unique color like no other Pearl.
I started out as something small, a piece of sand.
But I have grown so much, and now shine
For His Delight.

I am a Pearl.
God did not orchestrate my suffering.
But he has redeemed it.
I am beautiful and become even more so each day.
Because I am for His Delight.