July 2004

September 2005

November 2007

October 2009

hospitality

When we feel rushed for time, the first thing to go is hospitality towards one another. This though came barreling at at O'Hare airport today. My flight had been delayed for 2 hours. People were getting impatient and were trying to get the poor women at the desk to make the flight take off faster (1. - there wasn't a plane for us to get on and 2. - they don't control the weather). As a result, when the plane arrived and we could board, the women were so flustered that they skipped right over allowing parents with small children and elderly in need of special assistance on first.

What happened next broke my heart.

A mom was trying to juggle, her luggage, a stroller, a car seat, and 2 kids under the age of 3 by herself. She was in one of the last zones to get called, and the kids were obviously well past their nap times. As she tried to half push, half drag her caravan to the ticketing counter to scan her boarding passes, one of the women working the counter asked if she needed help. She sighed and said yes. Then the women working the counter just took the stroller from her (which one of the kids was in) and told her that she should have check it earlier.

Really? You forgot to give this woman extra time to load her caravan on to the plane and that was the best you could do? Scold her. But this woman working at the airline counter could just as easily be me - when I get flustered, when we get flustered, hospitality towards others is our last thought. We become so inward focus, or go into crisis mode, that we forget that we are called to show each other love, kindness, and respect.

Baptism and Ringwood

We were talking about the waters of baptism the other day in worship class. In concert, we watched a movie about mountain top removal. I was struck by the question - what does it mean if you are baptizing people in poisoned water? My first thought was about Ringwood, NJ, a town who's water has been poisoned. Their water for gardens, cooking, washing, and drinking is orange sludge. What do the waters of baptism mean to them? Where is the cleansing power of this water? Where are the living waters in an area where water only brings death?

Alter/ Altar Call

Last night I did something I haven't done for a while, I went to the altar. I usually pray at the altar during communion, but other then that some of my upbringing has made me leery of going up. However, the altar also has many good memories for me. Holding friends that were crying at the altar. Praying with another. Having moments of spiritual enlightenment. But I've been blocked from that for so long.

But last night I went to the alter. And God spoke, friends, very very clearly. I went up after a sermon that disturbed me. The sermon was on the lectionary gospel message about the Blind Man, Barthatmu. The preacher was making light of those suffering from homelessness and the lack of justice in an offensive way. So I went to the altar with grief, and left altered. I left with a radical message as I was confessing the bitterness in my heart about a huge issue that I'm having with ministry. And God said very tangibly to me, "Michelle this message is why you need to be in the pulpit - to cry my justice truthfully, not like this". This altar/alter call came on the tail end of a friend of mine telling me that she sees me being a famous justice person some day. Talk about shell shocked when I walked back. But when we go to the altar, our lives should be changed. Are we ready for that?

As Fast As Possible

The other day I was at a worship service run by a youth group. One of my favorite songs was sung, "Everything I Do". The song was sung several times with each time the speed increasing. At the end of the singing people were out of breath, and nothing stuck from the theology of the song. And I was left saddened.

How often do we go through the song of life, singing as fast as we can? It reminds me the story of the golden ball of string - were a young boy was given a ball of string that he could pull a bit and the time would go forward. When he got to the end of the ball, much earlier then his life should have ended, he realized that he missed all of the learning moments of beauty because he didn't want any of the hard moments. He sung his life song too fast.

What does it teach people theologically when we sing our songs of worship as fast as possible?

Tears

I started to grieve last night via an intense dream about something that I didn't think affected me. It was a deep reminder how interconnected we all are.

Blocking God

Sometimes I wonder about being busy. Often I know the laundry list of reasons I'm busy: trying to graduate in a timely manner and be affiliated with a conference that demands a lot, expectations of others, trying to apply my gifts and graces, running away and hiding, and trying to be a good friend all at the same time. But when I think of the reasons - especially the running away and hiding one, I wonder if really all I'm doing is blocking God by having too much on my plate. Balance has never been my strong suite. I can think of the awful way I felt in Australia, both from being in the midst of intense anxiety disorder with little to no support, an not having my coping mechanism of having something that demanded time and energy to pour my energy into. The same thing happened the following semester when I had to just take time off. However, there have also been times that I've been overly involved just so I don't have time to think - most of my time in high school and at Houghton, and it seems like this year of seminary as well. It's like I fear being still since 2007. What am I blocking God from doing in my life with my plate so full?