“Forgiving” Matthew 18: 21-35

The idea of forgiving others is part of our Christian faith. Every week we pray together the Lord’s Pray, which includes “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Sometimes other churches use the words sins or debt in that part of the prayer, but no matter what we pray, the premise still gets across, we are to forgive other people. 

And yet. And yet, we are not always very forgiving are we? Even with forgiveness being part of our faith, we try to place limits on what that looks like, on what Jesus could actually be asking of us. When Peter asks Jesus how often we should forgive, that is exactly what he is looking for. What is the limit? How much is too much? To which Jesus essentially says - any limits that you think exist on forgiveness, they don’t. We forgive indefinitely. And then launches into the parable of the unforgiving servant. 

This is a parable that I have always found interesting. Jesus is talking about what the Kingdom of God is like and compares it to a King who is trying to settle accounts in his Kingdom, only to find that one slaved owed him an astronomical amount of money. One talent is equal to fifteen years worth of ordinary wages, so the amount we are talking about in this parable is equivalent to 150,000 years of labor. Its an amount he could never pay back in this lifetime. A debt that could never be settled. So the King did what he was allowed to do by law, he ordered that the slave and his family and everything he owned be sold in order to put money towards the debt. 

Then the slave fell down on his knees and begged for more time. The slave even said if he would have more time he would be able to pay everything back. Do you think the King believed that this was possible? Absolutely not. So instead, he showed mercy and forgave the debt entirely. 

Brothers and sisters, if we were placing ourselves in the parable, we would certainly be the slave. We owe God more than we could ever repay, for the blessings that have been lavished upon us and for the grace that was shown to us on the cross. God knows that we cannot repay this, or even come close in our human existence, so God forgave the debt of our sin by the blood of Jesus Christ. Because of this gift we can now stand before God’s throne and be counted as God’s children. We are freed and forgiven!

But instead of rejoicing in the forgiveness that the King offered, we find the slave going out and demanding that another slave repay him about 100 days worth of wages. It was such a small amount compared to the debt that the first slave had racked up from the King, yet he would not let it go. His fellow salve begged for patience, just as he had done not moments before in the parable, but he would not show mercy and had him thrown in debtors prison. 

We do this as well, do we not church? If God has lavished us with forgiveness because of the cross, what witness does it show in the world when we do not forgive as we have been forgiven? God’s expects us to share this gift of forgiveness not just with our lips, but to live it out with our lives. 

Which is where the problem lies. When we find ourselves acting in unforgiving ways its usually for one of two reasons. The first is that we sometimes feel like we just can’t forgive. Adam Hamilton used an example of unforgiveness a few years ago that has always stuck with me, and which my dad and I were just talking about the other day. Rev. Hamilton had a large camping backpack - frame and all, and slowly, he started to add rocks to it. Each rock had something written on it - a place of unforgiveness in our lives. Rock after rock was added, until it became apparent that it was more than any person should be carrying it around. Then he hoisted it on his shoulders and carried it. 

Friends, how many of us are carrying around a backpack full of unforgiveness? How many of us have heaviness in our hearts in the form of bitterness and resentment that is just fatiguing us day in and day out?

I think part of the reason we carry around all of those things within us is that we don’t really understand forgiveness. We think that if we forgive someone that means that we need to have the same relationship with them as before. That we are opening ourselves up to be a doormat. That we need to pretend that everything is okay. That is not forgiveness.

I have some people in my life who have deeply hurt me. I have forgiven them for what was done, but that does not mean that we just pretend that everything is okay or that we have the same relationship as before. What it does mean is that I have dropped those rocks of bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness was about letting go, but not forgetting about what was done in such a way that I would put myself in a position where I could be hurt. 

Not all the things that we need to forgive are the same. Some things we can talk out. Other things demand a change. We do not need to wait for people to come to us and ask for forgiveness before we forgive them. Sometimes forgiveness is more for our own sake and health then waiting for the other person to become repentant. So even when we feel that we cannot forgive what has been done, let us pray that God allows us to forgive and drop the rocks that we are carrying around.

The other reason people don’t forgive is frankly that we don’t want to. This is about us holding on to control and not wanting to look weak. This is also I think where most of the unforgiveness in our lives is. Not in the feeling that we can’t forgive, but that we just don’t have the desire to forgive.

The other slaves in Jesus’s parable must know that their fellow slave had been forgiven a large debt by the King only to turn around to throw someone else in prison for an unpaid debt. Maybe they are worried the first slave is coming for them next. Maybe they just have a feeling that this isn’t right. Whatever they may be thinking they go and tell what has taken place. 

And the King becomes furious. How could the slave do this? Is this how one responds to mercy? The King was so angry in fact that he rescinded his previously shown mercy and demanded that the entire debt, the unplayable debt, be worked off. 

Friends, is there anything you are carrying around in you today that you need to hand over to God? Is there anyone you need to forgive in your heart for something that has been done to you in the past? God is waiting. Waiting with open arms. We just need to take the first step in handing it over in prayer. 

In a few minutes we are about to celebrate holy communion. A table where we remember both when Jesus offered his very life for us and the forgiveness that he showed us, but also the forgiveness that he would go on to show so many as he handed his life over. Let us take time this morning to prepare our hearts for what we are about to receive by being in an attitude of prayer…