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My heart beats for love. I want to be different. I want to be who I am called to be. WORTHY and LOVED!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Growing in the Fullness in Christ - Col 2: 6-19

The following story was shared with me by a pastor who served a three-point charge in Perth Australia: While serving a three point charge in Perth that was attempting to merge, the pastor was noticing tension. A lot more tension then that which normally accompanies something as stressful and emotion filled as a merger. The perishners were fighting with each other about everything. So one day, at an ad-council meeting for the charge, the pastor shifted the focus of the conversation from those things that were going wrong to what the church was doing right. He asked each person to take out a slip of paper and write down the name of someone they spiritually admired, someone who mentored them in the ways of Christ. Out of the thirty slips of paper collected, only five names were mentioned. Some of the people mentioned weren’t even a committee member or Sunday school teacher. No, these people were the pillars of the community, those who had raised and continued to raise people up to fullness in Christ. The pastor went on to ask each person to write how the person they mentioned encouraged them to grow into their own spiritual fullness, and the list was endless. These five beautiful individuals showed that there was no set way to encourage people, no set way to grow with God, or magic formula to apply. Instead, growing in Christ was done through authentic relationships. After that meeting, the tune of the merger started to change. By recognizing the model of their spiritual mentors that each person identified at that meeting, the people realized how foolishly they had been acting. By looking at the lives of those who had helped them grow, they committed to love others like that person had loved them in their own way. Relationships began to be intentionally healed, and the merger eventually happened smoothly.

The Colossians had seen the light. Paul had come to them, taught them about Jesus, and they received the message. Then Paul left. And like the Galatians, the Colossians began to be swayed from the truth of Paul’s message by the rules and philosophical rhetoric of other people coming to the area. The human systems and ways of thinking that they were being taught were contrary to what Paul had previously taught them, and without his presence in the community to disarm these new teachings, some of the Colossians began to wander down the road that opposed the teachings of Christ. In other words, caught between two messages, the Colossians began to stagnate.

And here we enter the story of the Colossians in today’s scripture passage. Paul is passionately trying to remind the Colossians of the fullness of Christ and his death and resurrection. No other teaching was needed. And no other teaching brought the reliability of its completeness. What Paul states about the lives that are lived in Jesus, “rooted and built up in him, established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” is both a present reality and something to be grown into. Another mirror of the Kin(g)dom of God – here and now and not yet, at the same time.

Like any other person in this situation, the Colossians seemed to be okay with the here and now. It was the not yet that caused the problems. Especially since the here and now, is so dependent on the future. Plagued by questions and doubts about the assurance of the teachings and sacrifice of Christ, they were captivated by the teaching brought in by the philosophers that had rules – a spiritual checklist if you will, to make sure that they were putting feet to what they believed now in order to make sure that they meet God when they die. For this new teaching, the power lied with each person to “do it right”. Paul wanted to turn to Colossians back to the Christ that lived inside of each of them, not a list of more things to do or giving into an authority other than their Savior. For Christ conquered all of the sins of the Colossians, and no rituals can forgive them any more then the complete forgiveness they have already received. And Christ conquered the ways and power of all other rulers, as he “disarmed them and made a public example of them, triumphing over them.”

Christ victorious in the past, now, and in the future. There was no need to try to have a back up plan that involved turning to other earthly authorities with their rituals and laws or demi-Gods, because Christ rules over all of them, whether they realize it or not.

At the heart of Paul’s message is the question – how do I know I am spiritually growing in Christ? And oh how we struggle with this question today. We live in a culture that tells us to look to just about anything other than God for assurance for the present and the future. We are told to work hard to play hard. And that God is just a card we have in our back pocket for when things get really bad, along with our rabbits foot and self-help book. But stock markets crash, we no longer seem all that lucky, and we find that all of our empty prayers and rituals weren’t really a strong relationship with God after all. We didn’t have anyone to look up to in the faith. Anyone who could show us that we needed to embrace the Holy Spirit that lives in each of us in order to grow. No one to guide us in discovering our own unique brand of spirituality. And we had not mentored anyone else to knowing God.

When people are approaching the end of their lives, they often do not say that they wish that they had worked harder, spent less time pursuing a relationship with God, less time with those who mentored them in the faith, less time mentoring their own friends and family. No they crave the relationships that they now hold dear, for they will only be around a few minutes, hours, days later.

Just like our relationships with people, our relationship with God cannot grow if it is not nurtured. And like any other relationship there is no end point when you can say, ‘that’s it our relationship is perfect, there is no need to grow anymore.’ As Untied Methodists we believe that we are growing in our relationship with Christ towards entire sanctification – which is a fancy way of saying that there is more still to come, more still to grow into. John Wesley believed that entire sanctification could only take place right before death or after death when we are united with Christ. But knowing that this form of relationship was in the future was not to stop us from growing fully in Christ now. It is just a different type of fullness. The difference between a long distance relationship and getting to spend time with the person you love, face to face. Our faith is now like breathing, completely natural and without thinking. We are so centered in Christ that it is not something to be worked for, but experienced in all of its simplicity. Christ is our only joy and we no longer feel any temptations to sin.

In the words of John Wesley, entire sanctification was “the loving God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. This implies that no wrong temper, none contrary to love, remains in the soul; and that all the thoughts, words, and actions are governed by pure love.” In other words its holiness. And like any relationship we can not say, ‘that’s it were as holy as we can get.’

The frustrating thing for task-oriented people is that Paul’s question to us today, “how do I know that I am really spiritually growing in Christ” cannot be answered by a set of tasks. And for relationship-oriented people, Paul’s question is equally hard in a world full of many relationships, some of which distract us from our growth in Christ. But instead of throwing up our hands in defeat or turning to a teaching that appeals to our human desire for tangible assurance now in order to take away the need for faith in the future, maybe the answer can be found in the example of the church from Australia. Maybe personal growth can comes through identifying the person or persons who have mentored us in life, and trying to live by their example of entering into encouraging, engaging and authentic relationships that model growing into the fullness of Christ. That show us that there is no formula to apply in order to grow that is universal, for God has created us to be unique and to grow in unique ways. May God give us this day eyes to see ourselves as God sees us and to recognize those people who have mentored us, ears to hear the call of the Kin(g)dom in its present and future form, and hands to reach out and mentor others in the faith as we have been mentored ourselves. And maybe most importantly, lips that say Thank You. Thank You to God for allowing us to grow spiritually in different ways. Thank You to those who mentor us. And Thank You to the Colossians for reminding us that we are not alone in any struggle that we may have concerning assurance and spiritual growth. Let us keep moving further and deeper in our relationships with each other and Christ, as we pursue that time when we can “love God is all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength.” Amen.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

From Wicked

I have been listening to Broadway music a lot this past week. I've just really been in that type of mood. And I have found some statements from the music to just be overwhelmingly on-target with what I have been experiencing:

"Every step is one step closer to being understood" - The Little Mermaid

"Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know." - Wicked

"I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game... it's time to trust by instincts, close my eye and leap." - Wicked

Adapted from Wicked: Only 'those who don't try, never look foolish'

"Dancing is a language that is felt instead of heard." - The Little Mermaid

"You speak as one - cheek to cheek, toe to toe, heart to heart." - The Little Mermaid



The Connectional System

Over the past two weeks I have remembered why I love the United Methodist Church. Yes, like any church we have our flaws and growing edges. But I have come to find that very few, if any, other denominations have a connectional system like ours. A system that weaves together churches in such a way that we really are the Church.
Almost two weeks ago today, a group of young people and adults from a UM church in the area were involved in the bombing in Uganda. They were finishing the last week of their month long mission trip and watching the last match of the World Cup at a local restaurant. We all know what happened next.
But there is a story behind the story, the story that isn't necessarily being told, of the United Methodist Church as well. UM churches in the annual conference immediately started to pray for this group of individuals, their families, their pastor and church family, those who died from their sister church in Uganda and the turmoil in the world. The bishop came and held prayer services. The pastor of the church from which the group came was aided with people to help her respond to the media, care for her congregation, and for herself.
Within 36 hours, we had friends in the area where the victims were taken, go to them with words of hope, love, and healing. These friends in Kenya and South Africa continue to visit as much as possible, some daily, as the team from central PA underwent many surgeries and were separated from their families by time zones.
Two funds were set up for aid to be given, one of which is designated for the church in Uganda who lost their pastor as part of the bombing. The other is for the medical care of the individual who was hurt the worst.
And this, my friends, is the Church.

In CPE, the same week as the bombing, everyone was talking about how the point of CPE is to teach you not to be a lone-ranger pastor. And during this conversation I realized that I was blessed to be a part of the United Methodist Church, where being a lone ranger pastor is not something that can just happen accidentally, but would be a direct result of violating one of the basic tenets of our structure. I am never alone as a pastor. We are never alone as a church. We are part of something bigger, and can tangibly experience that connection. I have been blessed with what other pastors can only hope for or work towards, naturally. May the gravity of this gift never go without notice.

Challenge vs. Attack

This past week was rough in CPE. One of the aspects of the class part of our time is called IPG - Inter Personal Group. It is held twice a week for an hour. Thursday's IPG in short ended up being an attack on two of us, whom three other group members had a problem with concerning our personalities.
Seemingly since I came out of the womb I have had a problem with my mouth. It has been described several different ways. The three that I used the most were "shameless", "no filter between my brain and my mouth", and "brutally honest". But whatever you call it, I've been convicted recently that I really need to work on censoring myself, thinking before I speak, if you will, especially around people I don't know very well.
So what a better time to practice this skill then CPE, right, since one aspect of the course is a combined self-awareness and self-improvement. Apparently wrong. Three people in this group said they cannot not function and work on their goals, because of my goal. Now I see that this can be a conflict of interest, but I'm feeling hurt. More than hurt actually, disrespected.
Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I have a strong values system. Two of those values are honesty and not talking behind others backs. As I sat crying because of some of the things that were said during this session, I realized that I wasn't hurt as much by their perceptions, because not everyone can understand or accept others for who they are. It is a gift that must be opened and practiced. And it takes a long time to get there. I know that I'm different then a lot of people because I can appear to be an extrovert, but I am really an introvert. I also have been raised with a wonderful support system and have brought that system with me to CPE - as my friends and family can attest to as they walk this road with me. Even though I can really accurately described myself, and put all of my crap on the table at the beginning of CPE, but until you see it all in motion you can't really understand.
No, my bigger issue was the planning on this conversation. It lacked respectfulness. A few years ago, a friend and I made a pact. We won't say anything about anyone that we wouldn't say to their face. Here a conversation was planned behind our backs at a four hour lunch where all that was accomplished was complaining about us. What was planned was what they considered to be an intervention in order to challenge us. But really it was an attack. We were told why they didn't like us, why we need to change (because we're not going to make good pastors if we don't amongst other things), and then were told that we were expected to change. Now.
So what are your thoughts? What are the differences between challenging and attacking? And better yet, what does the church do a better job of?


Sunday, July 18, 2010

When Hope is Lost - Gen 18: 1-15

There is a woman in Melbourne, Australia with an amazing story. Cerceda was in her early 80s when I met her. Her passion in life was to educate children about God’s love for them – and she took her message to the neighborhood with the second highest crime rate in the state. She decided to love kids who others said were impossible to love. When she couldn’t get anyone to support her cost of her ministry, specifically buying a building for the children to gather in and to make into a safe space, she returned to work as a doctor in order to fund it herself. She continues to work, even though the building is paid for, in order to purchase a bus to pick the kids up in each Wednesday. Cerceda knew through the strength of God she could do what others thought were impossible.

While working at Hershey Medical Center this summer, I have seen time after time Cerecda’s experience of a God who doesn’t take human “can’ts” for a reason to give up or give in. Over the past few weeks I have heard so many stories of God working despite the medical professionals’ diagnoses. I’ve held babies who were not supposed to have been able to be conceive, who supposedly died in the womb, babies who weren’t supposed to be able to survive, but were able to go home to live with their parents and grow like any other child. I’ve seen people in the Medical Intensive Care Unit who were thought to be as good as dead, walk out of the hospital months later. I prayed with a woman who’s water broke three months early, but whose body continued to make amniotic fluid – nothing short of a miracle – and I was able to see her beautiful son after he was born.

If anything I have learned that the times that people want to put God into a box, tell God what can be done and what is just impossible, those are the times that God intervenes in extrandonariy ways.

Abraham was a happy man. He had two wives, one whose beauty was famed the other who was fertile and had bore him the son he always wanted – the son who could carry on his name and inherit his wealth. Sure, God had said that Ishmael wouldn’t be the one to inherit the covenant, but Abraham thought he had taken care of that little issue by circumcising this son – it was the mark of the covenant wasn’t it?

And yet.

And yet, when God appeared to Abraham under the oaks of Mamre declaring that he would return “in due season when your wife Sarah will have a son” Abraham was silent. He didn’t laugh as before, falling on his face asking “Can a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Can Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” Maybe Abraham was just too tired to laugh, too tired to believe. He had been hearing this same promise for over a quarter of his lifetime. Why would God be fulfilling it now?

Sarah, however, had the opposite reaction. Sarah laughed. She said to herself, “after I have grown old and my husband is old shall I have pleasure?” Here is a woman who had desired a child for so many years, had wanted a baby so badly that she had given her husband her slave girl to procreate with. And everything and nothing changed in that moment. She saw how her husband looked at Hagar, his eyes wild with desire. And she saw how her relationship with Hagar changed when she became pregnant – with Hagar’s glances of sympathy mixed with her pregnant glow. And yet. And yet, Sarah still remained childless. Yes, technically Ishmael was her son by law, but in the eyes of society she was still a woman cursed with infertility. A woman who could not give her husband the one thing he wanted so badly, a child. And now here was a man showing up, a stranger, declaring that she was going to have a child. Didn’t he know anything about biology? Didn’t he know how many years she had tried and failed? Didn’t he see how much the very thought of a child pained her soul and marked her afresh with shame? And Sarah was saddened so deeply that she scoffingly laughed to herself.

Sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying. When all hope is gone, what right do we have to wish and pray for a miracle? And what reaction would we have if that miracle actually came? The Lord asked Sarah, “Is anything to wonderful for the Lord?” And as much as Sarah might have wanted to answer ‘yes’, all she could say was that she didn’t laugh. She denied her very response rooted in years of doubts, regrets, and painful memories. If nothing is too wonderful for God, why is he choosing to acct now instead of earlier?

How different Abraham and Sarah’s response are from when they first opened their homes to the strangers – Abraham ran to meet them, bowed down, and asked, well begged really, for them to stay and be refreshed. And Sarah made cakes as Abraham fashioned a feast. In contrast to all of the quick movements of their gracious hospitality, this news seemed to cause time to stand still.

What are the moments in your life when time has stood still? When your head might know that nothing is too great for God, but your heart cries out that this situation might just be too much. Unexpected diagnoses. Word of an untimely death. Families splitting up after years of marriage. Unsuccessful treatments. Or successful treatments only to die at the side effects of the treatment. Broken friendships. Broken dreams. Those moments when you cry out in anguish to God, or worse the moments when you have given up on all hope that God will intervene.

And yet.

And yet, some of those moments when you scoff at God for the unexpected tragedies embedded in your life, God is still asking “is anything too wonderful for the Lord?”. And each time this question asks, hope arises again like the bud of a flower.

Who do you know in your life that has given up on hope? Those people who can only scoff at God because they are grieving the pains of life? How can we bring a message of hope to a world that can only manage to muster some scoffing laughter that God is doing something new in their lives?

It is our task to have hope for others, when they can no longer find it on their own. And we know that when our hope runs out, that God will continue to hope and dream and move forward for us. What a powerful message. Even when Abraham ceased to believe and Sarah gave up all hope, God still acted and moved in a powerful way. We worship a God who brings hope even when our faith wavers.

So may we go to the Sarah’s in our lives –those people have given up on hope to the point where they laugh at the idea that God could ever be doing a new thing in their life. May we go to the Abraham’s – those who rely on logic and move ahead in life as if God did not communicate God’s loving plan to them. May we go to these people and be a presence of hope – not necessarily through words, but through hold hands, sharing tears, and listening to stories. For we know that there is a hope in God. A hope that surpasses all logic and understanding, and who’s timing doesn’t always make sense to us. A hope that isn’t blocked by our ideas of impossibility or muttering of “can’t”, for “can’t” is often a cover up for “don’t want to believe”. And if our own hope ever should falter, we know that God will continue to work for our best interest, for “is anything too wonderful for the Lord?”

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Go! The Kin(g)dom of God is Near! Luke 10: 1-11, 16-20

The kingdom of God is justice and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, come now and open in us the gates of your kingdom.” This past August I spent a week in Taize, France, a monastic community established to invite young adults to deepen their spirituality. Three times a day, thousands of people sit on the floor of a large church and read scriptures and sing together in a variety of languages and sit in complete silence meditating for a period of about fifteen minutes. The songs you sing are short, often only two or three lines and you sing them for a long enough time that you forget about the singing and focus on what you are saying, both with your lips and in the deepest corners of your heart. Of all of the songs we sang, this one is one of my top three. “The kingdom of God is justice and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, come now and open in us the gates of your kingdom.” For in Taize what we sang about the Kingdom of God was the closest to its earthly reality that I have ever experienced. 4,000 people from around the globe gathered together – atheist, agnostic, orthodox, catholic, protestants of all denominations, the seekers, the zealots, those alienated from church, gather together and for one week live exactly the same. The power of money is removed, as we all ate the same food, took the same sixty second showers, and camped in the same conditions. Justice was severed as those from richer countries paid the way for those in countries marked by poverty through a sliding rate scale. Peace and deep care and concern were share between people from countries that were and still are at war with one another. Joy was found in the re-discovery of the simple things in life – communal worship, deep conversations, purple sunsets, someone sharing an extra piece of fruit with you. By stripping away all that can make us deaf to the Spirit’s calling in our lives, thousands of young adults found joy in the message of the Holy Spirit as well. And above all we saw that the Kingdom of God was not just something that was to come in the future but something that was alive in each of us now, if we were open to it, that we could express outwardly to those who longed for justice, peace, and joy. The Kingdom of God was blossoming for those who had eyes to see it.

And maybe, just maybe, this is the message that Jesus sent the seventy out with in today’s passage. “The Kingdom of God has come near to you” So near that it was a reality and still is a reality today. So close and intimate that it is in our very heartbeat and breathe. So true that it is modeled in the very way that Jesus sent his disciples out, and the wisdom that we yearn for today.

What were these truths about the Kingdom and about our part in the present Kingdom that Christ taught?

First, the Kingdom of God is about community, not about being a lone ranger. Community is one of those words that has been marketed to the point of its very degradation over the past few years, but it is up to those laboring for the harvest to keep the image of community alive. What could Jesus’ reasoning be for sending the disciples out in pairs? The benefits are endless. They can compliment one another’s strengths. I’ve grown up singing, but it is only since I’ve been in college that I’ve come to discover the beauty in being an alto. If we all sing the lead then we miss out on the beauty of harmonies. Harmonies compliment what is being sung in such a way that it makes it more interesting, and if done correctly, more beautiful to listen to. And if done just the right way, harmonies can be breath taking. Maybe this is what life is like, when we live out our lives fully we can make beautiful harmonies together in community by being ourselves. When one person has the words to speak powerfully to a certain group, another may have the means to communicate more clearly with a different personality. One may have the gift of prophecy while the other may be able to heal. To send a person alone would be an incomplete opportunity. Two are also stronger then one. Jesus wanted to remind the disciples that they were not called to be lone rangers. He said “See, I am sending you like lambs in the midst of wolves.” If you are going to face a potentially dangerous situation would you rather go alone or with someone you trust? Community can form and sustain you during times that are difficult, dangerous, and depressing. Jesus also knew that when we go alone, we lack what we need to both thrive and grow, at least one person who knows us so well that they can both encourage us and rebuke us at the appropriate times. Imagine if the disciples went out alone and returned to Jesus exclaiming in glee “even in your name I had demons submit to me.” Oh the stories that would follow. Who slayed the greatest demon who preformed the most awe-inspiring miracle. If we are prone to being a story-enhancer who becomes narcotics then having another person traveling with us would allow for a reality check, someone to keep us grounded in the truth of who called us to the be laborers and who will get all of the acclaim for any justice, peace, freedom, inspiration, or joy that we may bring others. And finally, by going together, the message of the kinship of the coming kingdom was modeled by their very presence and joint ministry. Another one of my favorite songs puts it as “Let this be our song, no one stands alone, standing side by side.” For a society that has become alienated from one another and disconnected this is a powerful reminder and needed message.

Secondly, Jesus sent the disciples ahead to where he intended to go himself. Do you believe that to be true in your life today? If you are laboring for the kingdom, both in its present and future form, do you believe that Jesus sent you to where you are because he intends to come here himself? Do you see yourself as laying the groundwork so Christ can move in a mighty way in the lives of those you interact with? A hycistic prayer that I was taught when I was younger, stated “Christ before me, Christ after me.” In my own life I notice that I often find myself focusing on the first part of the prayer – Christ before me. But Christ comes after us as well, not only to fix our blunders but to claim what we have done in his name. It’s exciting when you think about it and it can change our frame of mind. We are not just doing the best we can until we are taken to Heaven; we are doing something powerful that may not get done if we don’t do it. We have a mission; we are leading the way for Christ.

Third, Jesus sent the disciples in order to help them discover what they had and help them go with what they’ve got. Jesus essentially tells the disciples that they needed to go only with their own being, not taking extra provisions or fancy evangelism tools when he said “Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals.” By doing so, Jesus was forcing the disciples to get comfortable with their own gifts, their own identity. Oh how we have ran from this message today. Too many people do not take enough time to even sit still long enough to discover themselves, to listen to the message of their soul. And if we are not silent how can God break through to speak over us and tell us who we are. While the message of the kingdom of God being at hand is urgent, it cannot be known if we do not take the time to allow God to work in us, opening the gates to the reality of the Kingdom inside of each of us. By encouraging the disciples to take so little, Jesus was also teaching them the importance of dependence. Who do you notice yourself listening to more, those whom you are invested in, even if they are strangers, or those whom you just pass by. As a chaplain this summer, I’ve had a lot of wonderful conversations with people. However, those whom I find myself learning the most from are those whom I am deeply invested in. Those whom I find myself praying for. They have become a part of my life because I am a part of theirs, even if all I have had to offer is a silent prayer, a toy, or the time to hold their hand. Ministry does not happen if one person just talks at another person, it is an ongoing conversation where both people have to be invested, and what better what to be invested then to be as dependent as possible, relying on another person for food, new shoes, a place to stay.

However, if people refuse to listen to the message of the disciples they are admonished not to lose hope or become discouraged. They are to move on, while whipping the dust from the town off their feet on the way out. When you go with what you have at the present moment, even if it is as basic as the interest and attention of another person, then you cannot fail because your ability to relay such an amazing message requires that another person has to want to hear it and engage around it.

Finally, Christ lists that which he has given the disciples to do after they returned, as a reminder that they represented Christ while they were on their journeys. They had a purpose behind what they were doing. They only had a message to share because Christ gave it to them, trusting them to be his representatives. The Getty’s wrote a new hymn that says “Hear the call of the Kingdom, life your eyes to the King. Let his song rise within you as a fragrant offering.” Christ has given us as his disciples his song to sing. It is not our own words that are we are carrying to other, but the total representation of Christ to a person who may not know of his grace and mercy. The song continues: “Hear the call of the Kingdom to be children of light. With the mercy of Heaven and the humility of Christ. Walking justly before him and loving all that is right so the light of Christ may shine through us.” It’s a bit scary isn’t it? In teaching about the Kingdom we cannot run away from our identity as Christ’s because we need to shine Christ’s light. I know that I can fail horribly at this sometimes, but the fear of failure is not an excuse to avoid sharing the message.

So may we to know that we are sent by Christ to proclaim the Kingdom that is so close that it is already here, and is so near that it is about to come. But as we go, may be not go alone, for we are called to model the community of the coming Kingdom through our Kindom. May we remember that Christ has sent us to spread the message where he intends to go. May we discover what gifts we have by coming to know who we are and go with what we’ve got, creatively making the best out of every situation that comes our way. And above all, may we remember that we truly represent Christ in all we do and say along the way as we move towards: The kingdom of God that is marked by justice and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. We pray that Christ come now and open in us the gates of his kingdom, so we can light the way to the kingdom for others. Amen.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

There are a lot of ways that I've seen myself grow over the years, but an equal amount that I still am steeped in. Today one of those old issues came back - hard. I have a problem with people who don't know me or understand my situation handing out advice. I'm not sure which part bothers me most - probably the not knowing me and dueling out advice from your own worldview, which may not be the best for me. Listen before you speak. Ask before you judge. Give advice last. Further, while you may be a pastor in a church one day, you are not one yet, you will not be one in my denomination, and you don't understand the connectional system that I am apart of. So do not tell me at what pace I "should" be moving or what my ministry "will eventually" look like, because you don't know me and you aren't affirming or even acknowledging how God is moving through my life. Sigh.