Epiphany

So I had an epiphany today. Some of you know, and most of you don't, that its been a rather rough semester for me for a variety of reasons, one of which is every time I go to class or turn around someone is telling me that being a pastor is useless. I have heard every attack imaginable: from God wants us to have a "real" job, to pastors have mis-interpreted scripture to think they should be supported by the church for their "ministry", to the church is failing so go into the secular world for a job. The idea being presented is still do all of the pastoral stuff but work a 40 hour job on top of that in order to stay connected to the world. And I've been struggling, especially after this past summer, to see the feasibility of that.

But then I went to Gatehouse (a safe house I hang out at for homeless, drug users, and prostitutes), after I had a serious of ugly thoughts during a class. At Gatehouse I had the opportunity to sit down for 2 hours and talk to Faye, the women who is essentially the heart and soul behind the house. Here I had an epiphany. I AM NOT made to fit into a mold. I don't fit into the current mold of what a pastor should be. And this new expectation for me to have two jobs is just another mold that I don't fit into. Yet, all semester I've been trying to make myself fit into that mold because people were telling me it is what's "correct". I wasn't listening to God. That is NOT what he's calling me to. I am who I am and God praises me for my individuality and uniqueness which he has gifted me with for a specific reason for the Church.