Weaknesses

So I hurt. A lot. Last weekend I did something incredibly stupid and went camping. I knew I shouldn't, but I went anyway. And now I'm reaping the consequences. Really I haven't felt good since I got off the plane way back in August, a feeling which was accelerated with sleeping on the overnight train to Sydney. Unfortunately, my health insurance doesn't go overseas so I'm a little stuck. It's not quit as bad as coming back from Russia, when no one could touch me for about two and a half weeks, but I fear that its getting there. And I don't know what to do. It got to the point today where I could do nothing but just lay in bed and hope to sleep it all away, but that was quickly crushed.

The funny thing, is as much as the first paragraph sounds like complaining, and believe me it is, it is one of the hardest things for me to write. I hate people knowing that I have some (many) profound weaknesses because I'm so afraid that those weaknesses will become what define me. So I just attempt to hide them. Seriously, the physical ones I rarely even write on a health form. And I'm starting to see how wrong that is, but I still can't articulate all of it yet. I feel like I'm stuck inside of a repetitious conversation with other people who care about me and myself in my head that doesn't have any resolution about this topic.