"Let me See!" - John 20: 19-31

When we left off with our Easter narrative, Mary had just had an encounter with the risen Christ. In fact, she was the first person to be greeted by Christ after his resurrection. After calling her tenderly by name and telling her not to cling to his risen form, he instructed her to go to the disciples, including Peter and the beloved disciple who came looking for his dead body and did not see his risen figure, and tell them “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” Of course Mary started off her rendition of this announcement by proclaiming “I have seen the Lord!”

Dusk has now descended and the disciples were gathered together in a room behind a locked door. Even after hearing Mary’s announcement, they were plagued by their own fears surrounding Jesus’ death – worried that the same fate would fall on them. Notice what the disciples did not do after the grandeur of Mary’s announcement – they did not go out looking for Christ. Instead Christ had to come to them – which is exactly what he did. Even though they were standing guard behind locked doors, Jesus entered the room and said, “Peace be with you.”

What a strange greeting from Jesus! Of all the things he could tell them about his experience over the last few days, of all that he could say about them abandoning him at the foot of the cross and not coming to seek him out in spite of Mary’s announcement, he greets them with reassurance, “Peace be with you.”

And as strange as his greeting may have been even stranger was what he did next – he showed them his hands with wounds from the nails still engraved in them and his side where the sword had pierced his flesh and muscle.

The shock wore off and the disciples forgot about the fact that they were hiding for their very lives. They began to rejoice. But I wondering how long their rejoicing lasted, or if their joy blocked them from hearing what Jesus said next. “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” Here are men, crippled by fear to the point of locking themselves in the room, and Jesus expects them to leave and go on a mission. The threat to their lives is still very real – and perhaps more real then they even realize considering the fate that each of them meets. What exactly is Jesus sending them into? But Jesus continued on with his blessings, breathing on them and telling them to receive the Holy Spirit and forgive the sins of others.

But one disciple was missing during Jesus’ appearance – Thomas. We are not told where Thomas was, but it would be safe to say that perhaps he was the bravest of all of the disciples, considering he was the only one not locked in the room with the rest. But the other disciples were quick to tell them what they saw and experienced. And Thomas’s response was to tell them that he too wanted, no needed, to see the marks form the nails and the swords. He needed to put his hands in them in order to believe. Imagine the disciples dismay – they had experienced something beyond words that they wanted to share with Thomas, but he wouldn’t believe them … perhaps like they wouldn’t believe Mary when she came and told them what she had experienced and saw?

A week later the disciples were gathered and Thomas was with them. The door was shut this time, but not locked, and Jesus came and stood among them, blessing them with the same greeting, “Peace be with you.” Jesus then turned to Thomas and beckoned his to his side. “Come and see. Touch and believe.” Just a week earlier, Jesus was telling Mary not to cling to him, not to touch him, and now he is asking Thomas to come and put his fingers in the holes left by the cold nails and to stick his hand in the wound in his side. He is giving Thomas permission to come and do what he needed to do to believe.

Historically, Christianity has given Thomas a lot of grief. He has been labeled as Doubting Thomas, based on this piece of scripture alone. Which seems unfair when you consider the fact that Thomas is really a lot like us. In fact, we may even consider Thomas to be brave. In the face of hearing the news of the risen Lord twice, he still was able to state what he needed in order to believe in front of his friends, despite the reaction and ridicule that he may have faced. But, alas, he has not bore the name “Honest Thomas” throughout history.

Thomas was able to say what we cannot even bring ourselves to admit to our friends and Christian colleges sometimes – there are just simply some times when we don’t believe. Some times when we want to turn to Jesus and say, “Let me see!”. Let me experience something. Or maybe it’s a bit less dramatic for you then that. Maybe your unbelief comes in the form of making bargains with God – if God will do this then you will do that. If Jesus would appear to you in this form or do this particular thing, then you will commit your life to Christ. We all have doubts – we just need to be honest about them.

Maybe that’s why I struggle so much with Jesus’ response to Thomas, saying, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe. You’ve probably heard the message of this passage preached as “walk by faith and not by sight” before, which is all well and good. But can anyone walk by faith all the time? Or does such a message just teach us to feel ashamed of ourselves those times when we do doubt, those times when we do struggle?

Let us not be ashamed when we need to see, need to experience something in order to believe. For God understands our unbelief, and is big enough to meet us in our moment of needs. Jesus gave Thomas exactly what he needed in order to believe – do we think that God will not reach out and do the same for us, as long as our request is honest and sincere? For the risen Christ was kind enough to come and meet Thomas in order for him to believe. What do you need to believe? And are you willing to be honest about your moments of disbelief surrounding the mysteries of the faith? Amen.