Awkward

       For some reason, humans have  a deep seated fear of awkwardness, but this past weekend I was reminded by two beautiful friends of mine why awkwardness in relationships is to be celebrated. Around a table in Java we were discussing how we fear change, even if the changes would be better for us in the long run. Instead, we stick with what we know, even if it is killing us from the inside out. The problem with this is that as humans, we lack the ability to be stationary people. We are constantly changing, either moving forward of backwards. And if by some matter of luck we manage to stay the same, then we are actually moving backwards, missing the moments to move forward towards what is greatly desired for us by God. 

I'm learning to celebrate relationships in my life that are awkward, not what I remember them being. Because it's only through the awkwardness, like growing pains, that two people can continue to grow and not regress and rest on the past. Isn't that the great tango of marriage and why so many people fail? A fear of the awkward instead of celebrating it. A desire to be each other's unchangeable rock. That is not, my friends, an ability that humans have. Unchangeable-ness lies in the Holy One alone. Yet, we strive for it, cry over it, and freak out when it isn't being achieved. We aren't called to be stable together in relationships, we are called to GROW together.