27 Dresses

  While watching the movie 27 Dresses, I was struck by the main character. Basic synopsis this woman does everything to please other people and doesn't really stand up for herself, even when it matters most. She is your prototypical people pleaser. And in describing why she did it, the reasoning boiled down to she wanted people to be there for her someday, so she can't say no to them.

   I totally saw myself embodied in this character. And if we took a moment to be honest, I think each of us could find a bit of ourselves in her. It's like we're wired to want to please people. Or rather, that is the misinterpretation of what we crave. What we really crave is intimacy (see the book Soul Cravings), but we feel that we have to earn intimacy by being nice to people. Even if its only nice on the outside. We spend so much time trying to please others that we lose the core of who we are.

   Another movie moment that this is comparable to is Julia Robert's character in Runaway Bride. This woman changed the style of eggs she likes among other things, to please whatever man she is with. It's like who she is with dictates who we are.

  How dishonoring to God! Do I believe that we should be nice to one another? Most certainly! But I also relate this to what Dr. Walters once said during a spiritual disciplines class. (paraphrased) 'We shouldn't have to ask What Would Jesus Do, because our decisions flow from Christ like character, which cannot be cultivated through a question' Our kindness shouldn't flow from what is expected of us, it should flow from our truly transformed character. This means that we need to stop trying to please other people all the time, and see why God finds pleasure in us. We need to sit down and have a conversation with him and see why he created us, for what purpose, and why he delights in us. Because when we try to please others, its like we are trying to satisfy our craving for intimacy, a craving God gave us to lead us to Him, with worth prescribed to us by others. Do not find your worth, dear children of God, in others, find it in the one who loves you the most. The one who finds you precious!