“Paul’s Conversion” Acts 9: 1-19

 The first sermon I ever preached was during my junior year of college. One of my professors asked if I would go to a small, country church who was without a pastor at the time and preach, just for one Sunday. I agreed. The entire church service was less than 20 minutes long, and I think the sermon I preached was nine, on this particular text from the book of Acts. 

I always think about that experience when this particular text comes up. Because in some ways it seems so simple to preach - Jesus showed up in Paul’s life, he had a powerful experience, and then was sent to spread the Good News to the gentiles. But when we make this text too simplistic, we miss how it may be speaking to us here and now today. 

Saul was a man who lived in fear. He was afraid of what the teachings of Jesus would do to the people he loved - the Jewish people. He was so afraid that what Jesus and his disciples were teaching was incorrect and would lead people astray that he would do absolutely anything to stop the message from going forth. Including watching a follower of Jesus, Stephen, he stones. Including threatening followers of the Way, whom we would call Christians. Including going to the high priest and asking for letters allowing him to take followers of Jesus as prisoners. 

We aren’t told why Saul was particularly passionate about delivering these letters to Damascus, but we are told that as he went along the road a light from heaven flashed around him and he fell blind to the ground as a voice cried out to him with a powerful question - “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul probably wouldn’t have classified what he was doing as persecution. He thought it was protecting. Protecting the faith that he loved. But this experience, it changed Saul. Once Jesus came to him and identified himself as Lord, he gave very specific instructions for Saul to get up and go to the city to do what Jesus asks of him. 

Only when he went to get up, he realized that he couldn’t see, even with his eyes open. So someone had to take him by the hand and lead him step by step the rest of the way to Damascus. 

A powerful story of Paul’s conversion, which went on to propel him on his missionary journeys. Only I think at times we miss the point - this was Paul’s conversation experience. This is how Jesus chose to come and speak to him and change his heart. Luke, the author of both the Gospel of Luke and the book of Acts is not trying to say that this is what our conversation experience has to look like. Not at all. 

Yet, somewhere along the line we have tricked ourselves into believing such. That our conversion experience needs to look like someone else’s. Look like Paul’s. Or the disciples. Or even the person sitting next to us in the pew. But that isn’t how Jesus works, friends. Jesus comes to each of us in unique ways that speak to our hearts and change us. 

I was teaching a Bible Study once about evangelism - the act of sharing our faith - when this woman who I knew to be a strong believer started to question whether she was saved since her conversion experience didn’t look like other people’s she knew. Was she saved if she knew that she loved Jesus and Jesus loved her? Was she saved if she didn’t have a moment where Jesus struck her blind?

To which I answered - yes with all of the confidence in the world, because that is part of my own conversion story with Jesus. I grew up in the church. In fact, I wasn’t with you last week because I was at my home church celebrating their 150th anniversary. It was in that church that I learned about the love of Jesus. Some of my earliest memories are from Sunday school. It was in that church that I learned what it meant to seek first the Kingdom of God and serve Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. It was in that church that my call to pastoral ministry was nurtured and they sent me forth to preach the word of the Lord. 

And yet, I did not have one absolutely profound moment that I would describe as a conversion experience. Instead, it was continually growing with God. Now there were plenty of moments where I know that Jesus was shaping me, and I can look back and see his hand of grace, but my conversion was continual, not like Saul’s. 

When I shared that with this particular woman, she visibly relaxed and was able to sink into the knowledge that she is not alone. 

And let’s be honest, she isn’t alone. I think she was able to voice aloud what many people harbor in their hearts - the fear that they aren’t good enough. That their conversion experience wasn’t good enough or authentic enough or like Saul’s enough to “count.” 

But friends, that is simply not true. 

Saul, renamed Paul by God, does not share the story of his conversion again and again in order to say that everyone’s experience needs to be like his. Or that they should compare their faith story to his. Instead, he is saying God can work even through me so I know that God can work in your life too!

And God does! But sometimes we get so blinded by comparisons that we miss what God is calling us to. God may not call you to be a missionary like Paul or he may. God may not call you to be a pastor like me, or he may. But God will call you to bear witness to his name. Who are you being called to bear witness to, my friends?

It is time to set aside the inferiority that the devil uses to trick us into believing that we are not good enough because we aren’t Saul. Or don’t have the same faith journey as someone else. It is time to set aside the childish ways of comparison and step fully into who God is calling you to be. 

I have a friend whose favorite phrase is “but God”. It’s her shorthand for saying “were it not for God” and “but God transformed this situation” and “God made a way.” A whole lot packed into two short words. “But God” transformed Saul’s life. “But God” transformed your life. “But God” calls even you to be part of the work of the Kingdom. “But God” is not done with you yet. 

So let us celebrate how God has worked and is working in each of our lives and live today for the sake of the Kingdom. Amen.