Life Together: The Day with Others - Matthew 18: 15-20

05/13/18 “Life Together: The Day with Others” Matt 18: 15-20

What is the purpose of the church - the body of Christ? Before we give a knee jerk answer, I want us to spend time deeply pondering this question. Both what it is and what it not, especially within the context on today’s scripture passage. 

This particular scripture passage on how to deal with conflict within the body of Christ, is part of a much larger section of scripture where Jesus is dealing with topics such as the Kingdom of God, life together as believers and eschatology - or what is to come. And plopped right into the middle of that larger section is this teaching about how to deal with one another within the church, which both speaks to how we treat each other as disciples and what our witness is the world around us. 

So what is the church? The church is not just a weekly gathering where we choose to come together to worship God - though worshipping God is certainly vital to who we are as Christians. The church is a fellowship of believers under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Let’s get that straight first and foremost. This is not my church. This is not your church. This isn’t even our church together. This is Christ’s church. So many of our arguments could be avoided if only we started with that particular belief. Second, church is not just something that happens on Sunday. If we are truly in fellowship with one another as the family of Christ, then whenever two or three of us are gathered, we are the church. Another way we could avoid some of our disagreements is to live into this idea of gathering together, because sometimes we find ourselves in fights because we assume that because someone sees us once a week that they know us and understand us, but that requires the true commitment of time and desiring to get to know one another. 

As a pastor one of the things that I require before I can marry anyone is five premarital sessions as a minimum. One is to plan the wedding service, but the rest are to talk about potential stumbling blocks in relationships. Do you know what one of the top ones is? Communication. Or rather the lack there of. When we start to assume that this person we are marrying is our soulmate, so therefore they must know what we are thinking to the point that it doesn’t need said - disaster is just around the corner. And that isn’t just true in marriage. It is also true in friendships. And in the fellowship that is the church. 

We also can bring on arguments, however, when we are so in tune with what another person within the fellowship thinks and feels, that we forget about Jesus. Have you ever been in a meeting or a conversation where it is clear with the Spirit is leading us in terms of mission and vision for the sake of Jesus Christ, only to have someone say “but have you talked to ‘Mrs. X’ or ‘Mr. Y’ about that”? I was at a training recently where the presenter cautioned us that when we are so caught up in protecting the feelings of other people, that we ignore the mission and calling of Jesus, we have ceased being the church. 

A last note about the church - it is not optional. If you are a believer, and claim that Jesus is the Lord and Savior of your life, then you are linked to other believers. You are linked with people around the world who may not look like you, speak the same language as you, or live like you do, but they are still your brother and sister in Christ - and you love them because of that. We don’t get to choose who we are siblings in Christ with, and that applies both globally and locally. We don’t get to choose who comes into our fellowship of local believers, because the Church belongs to Christ. 

But with all of that being said, conflict still exists in the body of Christ. In fact, church conflict has been a blemish since the time of Jesus. And honestly, as someone who has studied church history, I would say that most of the time, the blemish has become a stain - as we have not handed conflict in the way instructed by Christ. Instead of confronting folks in the loving and humble manner that honors Christ, we don’t like something, so we pack up our bags and leave - often to start a new church. That isn’t a reflection of the care Christ has for the body, nor is a good witness to those around us. 

What is Christ teaching then, about a different way, a better way, to hand disagreements in the church? First, we are to approach the person in a loving way on our own. We pull them aside and speak to them about how they have harmed us. Note - this isn’t about simply having a difference of opinions - we have to truly feel that we have been wronged to simply not just let it go. If that doesn’t work, next we bring in one or two other people - not to be on our side or to declare that we are right, but instead of bring the added benefit of an outside perspective. If that still doesn’t work, we bring it to a larger part of the body, in hopes of gaining added wisdom. 

But the truth is we rarely engage in this process today, and if we do engage in it - we often abuse it. One way that its abused is thinking that its the green light for ex-communicating people. The point of this process is never to break apart the body of Christ. And note what Christ says in this passage - to treat them as gentiles or tax collectors. Guess what? Jesus still interacted with the tax collectors and gentiles. He ate with them. He taught them. He spent time with them. This passage is not saying that we kick people out of the church so we can never speak with them again. 

Another way that this passage has been abused is using it as a reason why people have to forgive us. Forgiveness, especially when we have been deeply harmed, is not on a time line. We cannot make another person forgive us - instead we can only honestly ask for their forgiveness and give time and space for the relationship to be restored if it can be. Yes, as the church, we are called to forgive and heal, but we cannot make another person do that, nor is this passage a license for us to go to other believers in situations that do not involve us and ask why they can’t just forgive another person. Forgiveness is not something that can be demanded or in some cases even expected, yet we are still brothers and sisters in Christ.

The problem is that we have come to see the church as a voluntary association, not a family of believers bound by Christ as the head. So when we feel wronged, we simply leave this church community and go somewhere else. I have to ask, however, what that communicates? That conflict is stronger than the message of the cross? That being Christian we can address conflict just like the rest of the world? That we care more about being right than honoring Christ?

Perhaps we wouldn’t even need this process, brothers and sisters, if we truly understood what it means to be a Christ follower. This particular passage comes shortly after Jesus spoke to his disciples about his impending death. He knew that they would need one another after his passion. What if we thought more about why we need this body of believers instead of publicly calling people out and taking sides? What if we so desperately wanted to lived differently because we are disciples of Jesus that it marks every way that we interact with one another - including if conflict happens to arrive? How would our church be different? And what message would we be sending to the community around us? Amen.