Clergy Conflict

   I recently had a run in with another clergy person. While I would like to say that entire idea of clergy conflict is false, it is very much alive and well, it just looks different then most people. We tend to be the type of folks who try to avoid conflict in such a way that it often comes out being passive aggressive. So it is not the idea of conflict that disturbed me so much in this particular case as the underlying assumption that I had done something wrong to hurt her - in this case intentionally spreading a rumor that I never said nor actually came close to saying anything of the like.
   As I was thinking about the incident in the days that followed it was the assumption that got me the most. For if anyone should be trained around how to deal with conflict - be it corporate or personal - it should be clergy and one of the chief rules is that you do not assume. Yet, it was the assumption and how it was presented that then hurt me the most.
   Conflict and hurt are vicious cycles if not dealt with properly. How do you deal with conflict in a constructive way?