Love and Marriage - Gen 2: 18-25

This has been a hard sermon for me to write. Its difficult because we are going to be talking about a type of relationship that I’ve never been a part of - marriage. And it is difficult because I know some among us have not had happy marriages and their marriages had to end, or are now widowed and without their life parter. 

Yet even as difficult as this sermon has been to prepare and preach, I feel that it is a relationship that we have to talk about. For near the start of our Holy Scriptures we are told that God looked for a helper and a partner for the first man, Adam, but could not find one amongst the wild animals. So God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and he fashioned a woman, Eve, for the man from his very flesh and bone. 

God created a helper for Adam. Over the years in ministry I have had the opportunity to hear many stories of marriages that have thrived over decades as well as those that have crumbled. Those that have weathered the test of time, those marriage relationship in which the love in palpable, get this idea that they were created for each other. Get that they are each other’s helpers. And some translators don’t think that word is even strong enough. Really it is closer translated to mean sustainer beside. Adam needed a sustainer beside him. Someone to talk to and go through the days with. Someone whom he could understand and who understood him, To surround his life. To uphold him and be strong for. 

There is one particular couple that I always think of when I hear the word marriage. This couple had been together over sixty years when I met them. They had been through many hardships, including being displaced by the storm. But whenever the gentleman talked about his wife, his eyes lit up. And whenever she spoke about her husband it was with endearing and tender terms. They always said they were more in love with each passing day then the day that came before. They were each other’s helpers and strength. And everyone around them could see it. Best friends. Partners on the journey.

If we are lucky we have couples in our lives like this. If we are really lucky, we find ourself being part of such a couple and recognizing what a gift it is. Adam realized the gift that he was given. For when he saw Eve for the first time he said this beautiful thing, a statement that we often repeat at weddings that, “This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called woman, for out of man she was created.” A poem. A love song. Adam expressed his deepest longing for connection and gratitude for God supplying his need.

This is not to say that marriage and love is all rainbows and kisses. Marriage is hard. It requires dedication and work. And not ever moment is romantic, or even desirable. But Eve wasn’t created to give Adam the perfect life. Eve was created to help Adam journey through life. She was created because God realized that something was missing. And God wanted to fill that void for Adam. 

But often when we fill that void for each other, even in the most ideal of situations, we bring in our sin, our emotional garbage, our baggage. Because of this, relationships require hard work and prayer. And they require God’s presence. For even though Eve was given to Adam as a gift, neither could replace God for the other. In fact, this is one of the most vital mistakes that we can make in any of our relationships, looking for the other person to be God instead of pursuing God both as individuals and a couple.

For those of you who are married - how is your marriage doing? Is God at its center? Do you listen to and respect each other? Is your marriage a place where you are authentically alive and challenged to grow? Do you see your spouse as your partner and helpmate? If you answer yes to these questions - what a blessing! Thank you for cherishing the gift that you have been given. But know that the work is not over. God has given you each other for a lifetime, how ever long that may be. Continue to set aside time to be with each other and to listen to each other. Not simply to exist with one another, but to surround each other in love and support. 

If you are struggling in your marriage this morning, be not dismayed! Have you invited God into the hurting and broken parts of your relationship? Are you looking to God to renew you? I would challenge you to commit yourself to making each other a priority and to grow in love. Seek out other Godly couples who you feel can help support you and be examples in your life. 

Unfortunately, we cannot talk about love and marriage without talking about the dissolving of relationships. Divorce may not be God’s plan but it still happens for many different reasons. That is part of what makes todays scripture so painful - because some people have entered into marriages where such poetry and songs are not expressed to them. Where they are not treated with respect or like a helpmate. Marriages that were not the blessing that God created them to be. But know that God’s grace and love can penetrate our life, even in the darkest spaces, if only we invite in the light of God.

God knew what Adam needed - do you not think that God knows what each of us need? And that God’s timing for each of us in perfect if only we submit ourselves? I have often been asked when I plan on getting married. And my response is generally, when God sees it to be right. God knows what I need. Brothers and sisters God knows what each of you needs as well. Whether it be healing from past hurts, help in current trials in your relationships, or continued growth in love.

Many of you know that currently both of my brothers are engaged to lovely women and will be wed within months of each other. As they prepare to enter into this holy union and the chaos on the wedding builds up, the phrase that we keep repeating around the household is that a wedding is not a marriage. And that is certainly true. Love is a decision each and every day to be committed to each other, especially when things get hard. Love is about being in a balanced relationship where neither person is diminished or lacking dignity and worth. And Love within marriage should help us grow in holiness and grace.

Lastly, marriages are created to be an expression of God’s deep, unconditional, and never-failing love for us. However, we know that our human love, being broken and flawed, often can only reflect a glimpse of God’s love for us. But friends it is still a glimpse! Still a glimpse at glory! A place where we know that we are worthy and valued. A place where we let grace sink into our hearts and transform us! A place where we learn to trust one another and learn how to trust God more fully. 

Brothers and sisters, we have been given each other in loving marriage relationships to grow with God. And for those of us not in such relationships, we are reminded that we are given the church that is called the Bride of Christ. But we are not given each other to replace God, but rather to catch a glimpse of God. To feel the love of God around us. May we look to grow with God in all of our relationships, this coming week, and may we commit to supporting each other in loving ways. Amen.