Introvert in the City

I recently was trying to explain to a friend the freedom that I feel in the streets of New York City. In response I was asked how I could possibly like the city as an introvert.

The question gave me pause, and I started to reflect not only on my own sense of freedom, but also what I means to be introverted versus extroverted.

When we get right down to it  - people simply do not know what introvert and extrovert define. These words capture personality traits and are meant to define how we  become recharged as well as what drains us. However, we often confuse these traits with behaviors associated with how we interact with people. For example, people tell me all the time that I must be an extrovert because I like to talk and I am energetic. They expect all introverts to be shy. And yes, while it is true that I am a high energy person who can interact with people, it is not my favorite things. I am not a fan of large groups, but I can still handle myself in them. However, when I leave a social setting I am drained. After Sunday services I know that I need a nap. There is nothing wrong with that. I simply know that as an introvert, in order to recharge I need solitude.

And perhaps for me that is what the city offers. Solitude. Its an odd thought isn’t is? That a place with so many people could be one of being alone, yet that is exactly what it is for me. It is a place where people do not know you and do not expect to get to know you. They leave you alone. You can simply be yourself and get lost in the sea of people. People are not going to try to become your new best friend or insist on talking to you on the subway. You are free to be you and not interact with others.

While that may sound harsh, there is a flip side to being in the City as well. Some of my closest friends live there. Those friends that know you so deeply they can tell what you are thinking just by looking at you. You do not need to explain yourself, but they give you permission to talk if you need to and be silent as well. I would classify this as authentic companionship. Not masses of people trying to get to know you or imposing themselves on you, but friendship on the deepest level. Perhaps a level that cannot ever be fully described or known. And that is why the city refreshes me. It offers simultaneous companionship and solitude, something that I have not found in any other place. It restores my soul and is a place where I am invited to be most authentically myself. Introvert and all.