"Behold your mother... Behold your son" John19: 25-27

There is an old spiritual, “Cross-Cry” that embodies todays scripture lesson. The song starts out, “I think I heard him say, when he was struggling up that hill, I think I heard him say, ‘Take my mother home.’ Then I’ll die so easy, just take my mother home.”

Take a moment and imagine that you are Mary, the mother of Jesus. You deeply loved your son, the one whom you bore on the behalf of God. Now you can only stand by the cross and watch him die. Surely you try to be strong for your son, but even in his dying moments he looks out for you, cares for you, as he asks one of his disciples to take you as his mother and asks you to take him as your son. 

As you watch your son’s agony through the tears streaming down your face do you think back to the words of the angel when you concieved him, “Fear not”. Yet there is so much fear in your heart right now that is breaking for your child. Was this really what God asked you to go through so much for - for this moment? Would you have agreed to carry him if you knew that this is how it would end? No mother should ever have to watch her child suffer this way.

During Advent we talked spent a good deal of time talking about what Mary experienced through her agreeing to carry the Christ child. The public shame, rushed wedding, and the unexpected circumstances surrounding her delivery. We talked about her faith and her strength. Yet, during this season of Lent, we barely mention Mary at all.  But the gospel of John tells us that she was there at the foot of the cross that day, along with the other Marys, to be a strong, loving presence for her son, even in his death. Mary was present at the beginning and at the end, being one of the few who actually had the courage to be by Jesus. Oh how difficult this must have been for her, as a mother. 

Mary the mother of Jesus, the one who told the angel, “Let it be with me according to your word”, had to watch as her Son fulfilled the same promise that she made so long ago. He too had told God that whatever the will of the Father may be, he would follow. Mary knew the cost of such a vow herself; the pain she must have felt in watching her son fulfill this part of his calling.

I am not a parent myself, but parents and grandparents have told me time and time again that the hardest thing you have to do is watch your child or grandchild suffer. You would give anything to ease their pain. You would die for them. Oh how Mary must have felt the same way, yet she could not subsitute herself for Jesus that day. For some reason, the church has been guilty of not considering Mary and her humanity in this situation. She carried this child in her womb. He was blood of her blood and flesh of her flesh. She felt the same intimate connection with him that mothers feel with their children. Yet here, all she had to offer was her support and consolation as her flesh and blood gave himself up for our salvation.

It is not surprising Jesus, the one who gave himself up for us, was concerned about his mother that day. So just as Mary reached out to console him so he tried to console her. In a day and age when women relied upon their husbands and then their sons to care for them, Mary seemingly had no one left. Joseph is more then likely dead and Jesus is now dying on the cross, so who would care for this woman who had bore the Christ child once he had departed? And so Jesus asked the only male disciple who was mentioned as being at the cross that day, the beloved disciple, to care for his mother. And he asked his mother to accept John’s care for her. Jesus was not trying to substitute John for himself, rather asking them to form a new family that would enable his mother to be honored. To make sure that she was cared for. 

In the congregation I served in State College there were several families present who were refugees from Hurricane Katrina. But they were not just necular families, rather extended families. With mothers and fathers coming to live with their grown children, and grandparents coming to live with their grandchildren. When I asked a few congregation members about this sacrafice of love for family, they replied, family takes care of family. The elders of their family were honored, especially in their most desperate time of need. Do we live like this too? Do we live in a way that honors our mothers and fathers to the best of our ability, just as Jesus did as he hung on the cross?

But Jesus saying “Behold your son...Behold your mother” was more then just modeling for us how to care for our biological families. It was showing us how to care for our church family. One scholar wrote that these words of Jesus, “represent the way that family ties are transcended in the church by the ties of the Spirit.”. 

One of my favorite times in our worship service together is the sharing of joys and concerns. It is not uncommon for people to praise God for the gift of this church family and the way that we care for one another, especially in times of need and celebration. While we may not realize it, this is our church community living into the words of Jesus to Behold our son, behold our mother. We are family, and family cares for family. When I walk into a care home or a nursing home, I see staff that treat patients with the love and care of family. This is Beholding our mother. When I hear about teachers that are deeply concerned about the needs of specific students, this is beholding our sons and daughters. Brothers and sisters, please listen to me, not everyone does this. Not everyone beholds others as their family, but we, the church, are challenged by Jesus to do so in any way that we can, by this statement from the cross. For we are family, and family cares for family. 

As beautiful a statement as Jesus is making out of concern for his mother and creating a new sense of family, this statement still saddens me. It still makes my heart ache that Mary lost her child, but it reminds us that many walk among us today who know the pain of Mary. Who have watched their children die and now carry on their legacy. For Mary’s story does not end here. She is mentioned several times in the book of Acts as one of the disciples gathered in the upper room during Pentecost and one of those who prayed for the release of Peter. She carried on the mission and message of Christ, even after Jesus’ death. 

Mary stands as a testament that God walks with us through the darkest valley, especially the valley of the shadow of death. Mary suffered, yet God called her to use her suffering for the sake of the Church. Mary’s message and ministry did not end after she gave birth to the Christ child and it did not end that day as she suffered at the cross. She lived into Jesus’s statement to behold her Son as she cared for others, just as John lived into beholding her as his mother. 

We too are to care for each other. Care for those who are suffering, and care for others out of our suffering. We, as the church, are to behold our mothers and fathers, sons and daughters. May we embrace this community of family and extend it to all in need, and in the words of the spiritual, “Take my mother home.” Amen.