Small Town Life

Since I've arrived at my new appointment the question that everyone keeps asking me is "So what do you think of our town?" At the root the question is asking, what do you think of our small town life?

Honestly, I don't know how to answer any more after being here for six weeks. Being here reminds me of the town I grew up in. There isn't much to do, so relationships are strong. Everyone seems to be related to everyone else, because family is a core value. Churches are on every corner. People work hard and are invested in the community life. And I love all of that. But there is a flip side. As an itinerant pastor I don't fit in and I never will, because this is not my home and I am not staying forever. Its also not where I imagined myself being. It's nice enough, but I want to be somewhere where I have at least a chance to meet someone my own age. But my entire age group is missing. Post-college young adults leave the area to find a jobs. Some will return to settle down with their husband or wife and start to have a family near their relatives. But other then spouses the only new people coming into the area are the gas workers with their families. I miss seeing people who are my own age and the hustle and bustle of life in the suburbs. When I was talking about my trip to NYC to visit GBGM with my parents my dad asked if I would like to work there - and I would LOVE to work in NYC for GBGM. The city is where I see myself being - where I am surrounded by endless possibilities of things to do and people to meet. Where I can be surrounded by people my own age and where not being married at 25 isn't seen as abnormal. But that is not where I am right now.

Part of my struggle with small town life is that it is idolized here. People are always talking about how things were, wishing we could go back to those days. But even though I didn't live "back then" I don't want to go back. I especially don't want the church to go back. Because it is to a time where modernity was assumed to be the norm. We are living in the post-modern world, where those things aren't selling points any more. I was talking to another young adult clergy person about this recently. The church is probably the place where you can most clearly see the clash of the modern and the post-modern, with the post-modern more then often being dismissed. But post-modern isn't going away. It just is. And my generation has known nothing different so it has shaped who we are and how we want to interact with the church.

First, we don't want to join. In fact, we don't need to join in order to feel spiritual or like we belong. We want to participate, but on our own terms, not because you think we should and not simply doing what others tell us to do. I had one congregation member tell me lately that we need more young people in the church to do the heavy lifting. When I asked her what would happen if they came and they didn't want to do the heavy lifting she gave me a puzzled look. It cannot be assumed that young people exist to do the work behind your plans.

Second, we like technology. It has deeply marked who we are. It does not scare us. And we want it to be incorporated into worship somehow. I want to be able to go to your churches website and see what you are doing and how you are engaging the world through service. I want to be able to tweet during worship and use my iPad. The other day I went to a district meeting, where I was the youngest person by about 20 years, and when I pulled out my iPad to take notes, people were taken aback. I am not going to waste paper if I don't have to. One woman made me the crux of her joke to another woman about "my generations obsession with technology". Its not an obsession, its simply the way I've grown up and what I know best and can make work for me.

Third, we do not want someone up in our business. I don't necessarily want to have every detail of my situation shared to get on the prayer chain or to be named in church. I don't want someone to visit me in my home or in the hospital if I did not ask for them to be there. I don't need the entire town or church knowing every detail about my life. I want to be free to share what I want to share and keep private what I want to keep private.

Yet, small town life flies in the face of who a post-modern is and how their needs are met in most cases. In some instances, those of us who have grown up in a small town know how to navigate the waters between modern and post-modern, which is essential in a small town church where modern and post-modern clash in almost every decision and discussion. But sometimes I prefer to be in a place where I am understood as an individual and where my generation is understood in the context of who we are as post-moderns, not simply be patted on the head and told to conform.

I've also been struggling because small town life seems to be on the brink of idolatry for some residents. They openly discuss people who have moved away in a mocking way. They ask if multiple generations will return to the homestead to retire here, even when there are decades before people can retire. And they gush about small town life. And that is fine, if you love it, but you cannot dictate that it is best for everyone or is the only choice worth making as to where to live. I'm still trying to navigate the line between adoration and idolatry when it comes to small town life, but all discussions where the line is toyed with make me very uncomfortable.

So yes, I do like certain things about small town life, but no, both by preference and profession I don't see myself staying here forever. But that does not mean that I love you any less or will be disengaged from your town life while I do live here. I am called to be here, now, for a purpose. And I want to live into that vision and purpose together.