Sitting in the Grass

When I was little I hated conflict. I still do in some ways. Its part of the reasons that I dislike organized sports. It all started in elementary school when playground games became this time that people who were once friends became enemies as people played to win at any cost. So I just sat on the grass and read or chatted with people. Or hula-hopped. Or jump roped. Something where I could experience the beauty of a time in community without the manipulation. I never learned to cope with that manipulation. Ever. Maybe it has to do with being in a wonderful family that was like a cocoon of beauty. We played kickball together for fun. We played wiffleball and badminton for fun. There were rules, that were loose at best, and the goal was laughter not to hurt one another. And that translated into life rules - love everyone, do not harm others, and don't put your needs above others. Be respectful. Lev 19:18.

So here I am today. Back in seminary. And back in the places where people try to manipulate each other and get what they want with no thoughts of others. Or respect. And I'm still uncomfortable. Even more so. Because on the playground there is an ethic, but it is self-reliant, not an ethic of Christan com unity. Are we training ministers just to get what they want at any cost? Leaders who no one wants to follow? Or people only want to follow to learn how to get ahead? When will we start to love each other instead of stabbing each other?