About Me

My photo
My heart beats for love. I want to be different. I want to be who I am called to be. WORTHY and LOVED!

Monday, July 11, 2016

#HealthyPastor - Emotionally

   There have been several studies over the years that have found that pastors have a rate of depression as high as the general public (1 out of 4) or even higher. There have been several reasons attributed to these statistics, least of not is the stress of the job and the expectations of other people.
   But I want to take a moment and weave the two together - pastors have become the punching bags for people in some congregations, at least emotionally. Some people don't express themselves well, so when they disagree with a sermon (or what they thought a sermon said) or a decision, instead of coming and discussing it, they either cause havoc in the congregation or come and lay into the pastor about everything they have done wrong - all under the guise of being helpful.
   Let's call it what this is - bullying. We have have too many emotional bullies in our congregations for too long, and pastors have to deal with them more than anyone else. In some cases, they push pastors out and make them move on, other times they wear away until they destroy the pastor from the inside out.
   I like to believe the best in people, so I have to think that most people who behave this way don't actually know that they are doing it, yet how are healthy pastors to respond.
   First, get trained. In my annual conference their is a great program called Tending the Fire (http://centerformation.org). Find out how to lead your congregation in a healthy way.
  Second, get help. Check out what resources are available through your conference and insurance. My spiritual director recently suggested that I find someone to talk about stress in the workplace, and I ran across a wonderful resource offered through my health insurance called EAP (www.liveandworkwell.com). I called someone to chat and they gave me resources around stress I had never received before and were able to affirm some of the positive steps I had already taken.
   Three, don't go through it alone. Find a friend, a family member, or a colleague and talk with them about what is going on and how it is making you feel. You are not the first person to deal with emotional bullies in the church, but it is going to effect you. Find someone to talk it through with so that you aren't carrying the burden alone.

No comments: