“Growing in Christ:Guidance ” Matthew 7: 7-11 John 16:13

Who are the people in your life who hold you accountable? Who help you grow? 

We all need people in our life who can help us discern God’s will at certain points in our lives. But what this looks like in every day living may be different for each of us. 

Some examples from my own life: Once a month for the past 4 years I have met with Renee, my spiritual director. Renee and I sit in silence, praying that God speaks to us. I share with her about the past month, knowing that without fail she is going to ask me where I experienced the movement of God. Renee holds me accountable while challenging me to listen to the Holy Spirit. Because of her powerful example, I also serve as a spiritual director for folks, asking them that same powerful question about where they saw the movement of God.

Once a month I also receive a phone call from Jenn, my ministry coach. Jenn and I talk about ups and downs in the life of ministry and prayerfully work through a difficult situation for a positive and God-honoring resolution. While she does not ask me the same question as Renee, she strives to help me live into the verse we heard from John 16:13, asking the Holy Spirit to guide us in the Truth that God holds. Some of Jenn’s favorite questions to help me discern include “What is God’s Truth in that?” and “where is God leading you next?”

Another place of accountability in my life are deep friendships. Some of these friends I am blessed to see once or twice a month, sitting in each others presence and asking how it is with our souls. Others live too far away to sit across from each other so we connect via video-chatting on the internet and emails asking for prayer requests. There are five such friends who I know are praying for me daily, and I pray for them, asking that God helps them continue to grow in their faith and ministries.

Those are just examples from my own life, but I think what we are being prompted to ask with this particular spiritual discipline is are we willing to be held accountable by another person? Do we seek out people who can help us listen for the power of the Spirit to guide us at all times or do we only surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we want to hear?

The reality is that some of our friends are wonderful people to spend time with, and that is extremely important, but they are not spiritual friends - the friends we turn to for an honest assessment of our souls. On the flip side, not everyone we know in Church knows the state of our soul either, and we need to carefully choose who we will reveal our deepest spiritual longings and struggles with. 

Sometimes, as we examine our circle of friends, we find that the best people to hold us accountable are not to be found there and we need to seek out folks who do not yet know us, but can be objective, such as spiritual directors. Spiritual directors are perhaps one of the best kept secrets regarding guidance in the Christian Church. For centuries, people have been raised us in the body to help others discern the movement of the Spirit. Often people do not even know they exist until something perks their soul to start seeking someone out, and they then find spiritual directors abound. 

We need people in our life who can guide us, help us discern. But what exactly is discernment? Discernment is about being open to the leading of God, both in ordinary moments and during times of big decisions. Discernment is critical both for us as individuals in our walk with Christ and for the leadership of this Church. Discernment helps us see God more clearly. We are on a journey from seeing God no where, to seeing God only where we expect to see God, to seeing God at work everywhere. Discernment involves peeling back that which clouds our perception of God so we can experience God more clearly. 

Guidance and discernment are one in the same. They involve asking questions such as: What am I called to do? How is God working in this situation and how can I get on board with it?

Discernment starts when we acknowledge that we lack wisdom and need divine intervention. But its hard for this type of guidance to take place if we aren’t taking care of ourselves spiritually - we cannot just “turn” discernment on when we are in need and forget God the rest of the time. And we need other people to hold us accountable in our discernment.

One of the ways folks hold me accountable in my discernment is to join me in praying a prayer I learned from our former Bishop, Jane Allan Middleton: God if this is of you, increase my desire, and if it is not of you, decrease my desire. To be surrounded by folks who are praying this prayer on my behalf, and who will ask me what I have discerned, keeps me from being spiritually lazy or substituting what I want for what God is calling me to do.

But here’s the thing - like the other spiritual disciplines we’ve looked at in this series, discernment is hard work, because we really have to trust God with the things that are most important to us. One of the scriptures we looked at this morning is from the Gospel of Matthew about seeking, knocking, and finding. This is a passage that is often mis-construed as saying that God will give us whatever we want as long as we ask. But really this passage is saying that we need to ask God for what is best for us, what is better than we can even imagine asking for. Are we asking for things, or to be transformed more into the person of Christ? Are we asking for what we want at the time, or are we seeking guidance on what is best? 

The scripture passage from John proclaims that Jesus wants to give us assurance and authority. Wants to help lead us in the way of Truth through the Holy Spirit, but the question really is, is that we are asking for, or are we settling for so much less? Are we seeking out people who can hold us accountable, or are we just going about our own thing, whatever works best for us at the moment? Are we looking for Jesus to bring folks into our life that will help us grow, or who will keep us comfortable?

My challenge for you this week, is to find someone who can hold you accountable spiritually. Maybe its a spouse. Or a parent. Or a friend. Maybe you need someone like a spiritual director to guide you. But find someone. Someone to pray for you. Someone to ask you the tough spiritual questions. Someone to help guide you. Someone, who at the end of the day, you know is helping you live into all that God has in store for you. Amen.