Quoting Scripture

I keep returning to the concept presented by Dr. Fewell in my OT class, that the Bible can either be a tool or a weapon. The more I reflect on this statement, I am grieved by how many people use it as a weapon. I think back to our days in childhood, when Sunday School teachers and Bible Study leaders encouraged us to selectly memorize scripture - just a verse here or there and always absent from its original context. A friend and I have had an ongoing email conversation this week about what the ramifications of dwelling on the context of verses especially when applied to praise and worship songs written strictly from a pulled verse that leads to a praise song that isn't theologically or Biblically correct.

This issue really came to a head for me last evening when an aquaitence was throwing out verses about things she was passionate about, but at the same time was complaining about her very Godly parents. Her select verse memoirzation had apparently left out "honor thy mother and father."

But we are all guilty of this, pulling out verses to support what we think is correct, what we think is true, what we want to fight for and forgetting that the entire Bible has truth for us. That's why we need to spend time in it daily, not merely being sustained by memory alone.

Think before you act

I've been spending quite a bit of time reflecting lately on the need to think before we act or speak. Specifically the need to think about how someone else may perceive, misuse, or be hurt by our actions. One of the beauties of hindsight is that it equips you to bestow wisdom to others out of your screw ups.

Today in church I was really perplexed by a drama that was presented by the youth. It was titled something about "Faith Prints Anonymous" and the essential plot was a group of people gathering in a support group setting for those who act out of faith. I don't think the skit intended to, but it was a definite jab at AA and other such groups, which are so vital. I couldn't understand how the leader couldn't step back and take a moment to think 'could this possibly be offensive to anyone in the congregation?' or 'what is the cost of this joke'. For me the prices would have been too high. All I could think of were the people who would be grieved by what they were seeing, and even as I sit here writing this, one person who I care for dearly would very much be hurt. Chances are someone in the congregation attends a necessary support group. May we pray that they didn't take it as poorly as I did.

My second problem with the skit is that it posed faith as something to be ashamed of. Maybe if it was acted better the punch line would have came across in a clearer manner, but that was not the case as it stood. Faith is this beautiful gift. Yet we trivialize it. For what purpose? What good can that possibly serve to affirm others?

The more I thought about this play, I realized that we make poor choices with our words and actions everyday as Christians. We aren't fighting the good fight of faith, we are taking the Bible and making it into a sword to wound others. One of the people on my facebook list this week put up a statistic about the ratio of terrorists to unborn babies killed. How could that be a good thing? What if someone saw that who lost a child, a mother, a father in 9/11? And what if someone on your friend list, unbeknowance to you, had an abortion? Is that going to bring them comfort to their wounded heart?

I'm trying to watch what I say and do more especially in the public forum. That doesn't mean that I'm paranoid or that I won't screw up. But I realized that there are enough wounds in the world, Christians aren't caused people to bleed to death.

Devotion

This was today's devotion, which I found to be quite meaningful:

OUR FIRST RESPONSE IS GRATITUDE. We thank God for such generous and nourishing gifts. Giving thanks opens our eyes to our connections to others. We see that we cannot thank God for the food we have and then turn our backs on people who are hungry. We cannot praise God for the bounty of the land and sea and close our eyes to the ways we abuse and pollute the soil and water. … Giving thanks to God is more than saying grace at the table; it is living lives that reflect God’s justice and love.

- Susan Briehl, Mary Emily Briehl Wells, and Magdalena Briehl Wells
“Food”
Way to Live: Christian Practices for Teens

Music

In church this morning I was reminded of an ongoing conversation I've been having with one of my friends about making hymns contemporary. As a general rule, I'm against this. And today I wanted to cry, my heart broke so much as the theology of one of my favorite hymns was obliterated. Dan Schutte would be appalled by the way we sang 'Here I Am, Lord'. We flew. I have never even heard the song played at that tempo. I would say (guessing) that this song is written to be sung at a tempo of andante, around 90, in order to give people time to reflect. Saying to God, Here I am, use me, is a dangerous thing that I don't believe God wants us to enter into lightly. While the text this song is based off of in Isaiah 6 isn't generally described in conjunction with the song, Isaiah had a big decision to make and it radically changed his life. He had a painful beginning to ministry (with a hot coal burning the impurities from his lips - this is not just a slight sunburn people) and the end of his ministry (with the fall of his people into captivity and exile). And all along, God pretty much told him the message he needed to give was just telling the people that their hearts were too far from God to even listen to anything Isaiah could tell them from God. Reflection is needed before we commit our lives to a ministry like that (which strikingly reminds me a lot of the current age today).

But we sang the song in an "upbeat" manner. Translation, Allegro about 140. It took all I had just to sing the song at that pace, I had no time for reflection. What a tragedy against the composer and what a denial of theology to those of us who were singing. For the sake of what? Being modern? Hymns are written to convey a theology that many modern people can't even match (with one or two exceptions), so don't deny the few opportunities to sing a song the way it was meant to be, with time to reflect. 

Are you kidding me?

I was just in the library where I overheard two men discussing how the crisis of the earth isn't a problem caused or that could be fixed by individuals in the US. Are you kidding me? We are the #1 consumer of resources for the least number of people! There is a HUGE problem with that. We are the people who had to make landfills on ships because we have so much waste. We throw away more than any other nation. We don't recycle like other nations that are comparable to us. We waste every resources we have. It's mindsets like the those of the people in the library that kill the earth, quickly. 

Why do we always focus on wanting the "one thing" we don't have, while ignoring our many blessings?

A Psalm

How long oh Lord will you let the injustice of your people reign? 

How many tears have you shed for those who ignore your call to bring mercy and justice? To share Your grace?

We have closed our eyes 

to the prostitutes who have to sell their bodies to survive because everyone else has abandoned them.
to the homeless on the streets, in need of more than a handout to restore dignity.
to the depleting resources in Earth, thinking if we ignore the ugly state of Creation we have wrought, that it will fix itself.
to the drug deal going down across from a children's orphanage.
to the young people dropping out of school or graduating without knowledge of the real world.
to the elderly abandoned to die alone.
to all of the people fleeing from the situations we created,

and to those displaced from the acts of nature beyond our control, but we still refuse to help.

to the bruises of the beaten wife, while crying out against Eve E.

We have closed our ears

to the cry of hungry children around the world.
to the sounds of gunshots, as people commit genocide.
to the muffled screams of torture victims.
to the story of the rape victim.
to the confession of the rapist.
to the cry of abandoned babies, as we widen opportunities for parents to abandon their children and narrow the pool of people who are "allowed" to love them.
to the sounds of blades thrashing skin and the silent cries of depression.

to the sounds of different cultures, tribes, and tongues, thinking that we are the "best"

We have not opened our mouths

to protest children being kidnapped to become solders.
to speak words of hope to young girls being made into sex slaves.
to speak truth against young girls being raped as a cure for AIDS.
to cry in righteous anger against war.
to rebuke the racist, bigoted, and intolerant.
to the cries of hate coming from the mouths of those who should be preaching love.

to speak against globalization and the high price on others for our cheap goods.

to cry against the indentured slavery of companies like Nike. 

to bring alternative buying options to others. 

The waters of oppression surge yet the church argues about carpet colors. Limit their ideas of justice to beating up those who are homosexual in their sexuality. Have cursed at the girls who see no other way then to get an abortion. We try to legislate morality, yet won't let oppression, tragedy, and the ache of distress come any where near our doors. 

But hear the cries of even the few who refuse to remain silent, blind, and deaf. Hear our cry, Oh Lord. 

How Long?

'When we accept the reality of the brutality of the cross then we have seen the dark places in the world. Therefore, we should not be afraid to go to those dark places and talk about uncomfortable things, because Christ has paved the way to bring light and healing. We can not hide from the darkness behind fragile piety. We must go. See, hear, touch, smell, those things that make us uncomfortable, while speaking words of truth.' – Chris Bossel (paraphrase)

Wisdom

I tutor 13-15 8th grade girls every Monday for the SCEEP program, with about 7 other tutors ranging from freshman in high school to retired school teachers. Recently, I overheard the group of three high school girls talking about how hard classes are, what colleges they want to go to, and then they veered the conversation to making fun of another girl they know from school, which they did for the remainder of our time together.

In high school I was one of those people who was the cusp of being popular but never really fit in with the "in" crowd. This could possibly be the worst place to be. Why? Because you get invited to some of the popular crowd's gatherings for the sole reason to be made fun of. It didn't take me long to figure that out.

Because of this, I was able to sympathize with the girl who was being made fun of (even though she wasn't present). And I wanted to jump in and share wisdom with these vicious girls - chiefly, to treat others with respect (especially since two of the girls are Christian and the other is Jewish, making them all responsible for Lev 19:18) and that if you wouldn't say something to a person's face, then its gossip. But I caught myself. Should I chastize someone I don't really know that well? Or are we called as Christians to share words of wisdom with all of our brothers and sisters?

I'm still searching for that answer.

Care for the Earth

The grocery options around Madison are less than desirable, sadly. There are really three grocery stores that are close, all of which probably have a 50 to 100% mark up compared to PA and then Whole Foods which is amazing, but too expensive to do all of my shopping there (my friend Dan lovingly refers to it as "Whole PayCheck"). Right now I buy as much as I can at Shop and Save - down the street from my apartment and then finish up at Whole Foods with organics and what I couldn't find at the regular grocery store.

All of the grocery stores are encouraging people to "go green" by giving a discount for each personal bag you use for groceries instead of taking a paper or plastic one. Anywhere from 5 to 10 cents off. I really wish they wouldn't offer the discount. Why? Because we shouldn't have to coheres people into going green. Seriously. Isn't wanting to preserve the earth for future generations enough of a reason?

Things with grocery shopping have not went well the last two weeks. Last week, I gave my bags to the cashier, who shoved them aside and started to pack all of my groceries in plastic. And the ugly side of me emerged as I started to lecture the poor kid (seriously, he was a high school student) about the reason I use the green bags. He essentially told me that I was 'too concerned' about the Earth. Oh buddy. I left fuming.

Then this week, a different grocer at the same store decided to pack as many groceries into one bag as he could, in order to save himself the extra 5 cent discount that it would cost him to pack yet another bag. AND then he gave me plastic bags even though I had 7 reusable bags left. Was I happy? No! In Australia, people didn't need incentive to do their part. Yet back in the states people look at you funny when you talk about green bags, public transportation, CFLs, composting and recycling, just to name a few things. Get with the times.! Is the extra 5 cents it would cost a corporation worth destroying the Earth for?

It Takes Moving Away....

I've been noticing lately that sometimes it takes moving to a new place to re-discover who you are. When you become too saturated with the same people who are used to who you are and what you do, allowances are made for the amazing things you do as well as the dark parts of your personality that need a readjustment.

My roommate is always telling that I "amaze her". What do I do that makes her so shocked with happiness? Cook for others - both inviting others for dinner and making sure there is a snack for her and our other rommie every weekend. Send letters out to several people every week. Sending treats to my friends at Houghton through the campus mail system. Essentially I just have a huge heart for others that expresses itself in different ways.

I also seem to amaze one of my bosses by my work ethic, but more through some of my vocabualry choices.
"How are you, Michelle?"
"I'm excellent today."
Derek was take aback by the fact that I only answer for this present moment, this present day. Moods are not stable things by any stretch of the imagination. I also think by answering just for this present moment we protect ourselves from giving trite answers to others. When we have to think about what we say, it makes it more meaningful.

I also referred to someone the other day as "the nice man" and Derek stopped me, asking me how I knew he was nice. I responded that I just assume the best about people until they prove me wrong.

It takes moving away to have the unique person you are be acknoweldged. It takes moving away and having to think through why you do what you do, to acknoweldge who you are to yourself.
How sad, yet how liberating.

Health Biases

In the past few weeks I have lost all respect for written health assessments, particularly after this morning.

At Drew, first year MDiv and MTS students were given the opportunity to enter the pilot program for FTL - Fit to Lead - a movement in the United Methodist Church to address total clergy health. Sounds great right? We get free screenings, workshops, and coaching to improve our health.

But what if there are aspects of your health that cannot be controlled or are already showing vast improvement under the care of a physician? What does FTL have to offer you? Not much. Really the program's online assessments are horrible for people who have pre-existing conditions. Two examples: the first scoliosis. My curve in my back isn't bad enough to be braced or surgically corrected, yet there are still times where it affects me. I know what to avoid most of the time - lifting heavy things by myself, camping, driving in a car for to long and when its aggravated I need to just take it easy for a while. If things get out of control, which they sometimes do when the muscles in my back get so tight that they begin to pinch nerves, I have pain medication that I rarely ever use. I also see a chiropractor on a regular basis and have seen a physical therapist. It's just a fact of life. According to all of the doctors, nothing my parents or I did caused it and there isn't really any way to fix it. Yet, to enter that under the broader category on the Web MD survey a huge red flag went up.

Worse, was depression and anxiety. After meeting with my coach this past Saturday, I realized that in my haste I hadn't filled out the Web MD incorrectly, prescribing to myself all of the diseases I don't have (including but not limited to stroke, five types of cancer, and emphysema) while missing to check the four boxes I do have. So this morning I went back and fixed my answer. And my score dropped from a 61/100 (with 100 being the best score) to a 37/100. Woah. What happened? Two things. 1.) I checked the box for depression treatment. According to Web MD this is the gateway for all sorts of horrible things in your body. You have to be kidding me! People who are responsible enough to seek treatment and fortunate enough to have medication that works for them - making them feel whole for once in their life - are being punished? Are being told that they are a walking disaster? Doesn't that seem a bit biased considering how many people in the US alone have treated depression let alone untreated depression? Web MD also told me to brace myself for increased health costs due to depression.

Oh but Web MD didn't stop there. It also subtracted points because I was diagnosed in the past year, ignoring the fact that is when I started treatment to tell me that I was 100% in danger of getting depression and anxiety. I was told to seek treatment immediately. Well thank you for yesterday's news. Goodness! It also didn't correlate that all of the questions where it asks you about the past two weeks and not the past year were amazing - you know since I'm on the drugs? That whole being treated thing. Then Web MD attributed all of the symptoms that are traditionally linked with depression, and which I was a classic case of, to stress instead, saying that I need to decrease my stress. Ummmm.... I'm actually feeling great, thank you. I know what stress feels like, this isn't it. Haha.

When I met my health coach with the original numbers she was shocked, considering what and how I eat (I'm a vegetarian who only eats fresh foods I prepare myself at this point in time), what I drink - about 6 glasses of water, 1 glass of orange juice, and 1 cup of tea a day, and how much knowledge of my own body I have and put to use. The only recommendation she could give me was to exercise more. I wonder how she is going to react to the most recent mis-match of my scores to who I am as a person.

Disrespect

Warning: This is going to be another one of those instances where I have several posts in a short period of time. It's time to break my blogging hiatus.

I've been plagued with thoughts and examples of how we disrespect each other lately. I can't help but ask why. I can't tell you how much patience and control it takes for me not to lash out at several of my classmates who do the most dis-respecting things during class, including but not limited to holding their own conversations about personal things during class, working on other homework, browsing the Internet without purpose, and the worst in my opinion, making fun of the prof.

I understand and sympathize with the fact that classes are sometimes boring, but that doesn't relieve us of the demand to show respect to others. I keep thinking back to Australia, where each class was three hours long at a time, and how aggravated several of us became with our classmates who would IM and check facebook during class. I think people fail to realize what people give when they agree to teach. Here are individuals who are sacrificing their time, some for little pay, to share with students what they are passionate about, perhaps in hopes that you may become enlightened. What a beautiful gift! Yet, all too often students scoff at this gift.

Personally, I would rather have these individuals not show up to class. If you feel that it is below you to even listen and glean and participate, then why come to class? Seriously. You are just stealing the gift from the rest of us. Worse, degrading beautiful giving people.

Not to long ago, Shane and I were emailing back and forth about what it means to be a pastor and he made the comment that we need more compassionate pastors, not more compassionate profs. I of course disagreed. We need passionate, compassionate, profs just as much as pastors. We need people to inspire, mentor, encourage, rebuke, and teach us, whether that's in the church or in the school setting. We need quality people. Christ shines through just as much in the classroom as the pulpit as on the street, if only we would take the time to look. Appreciate. What if you are scoffing at Christ?